¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The negative side of \"Are humans too dependent on computers?\"

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-09-19 2609

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are humans too dependent on computers?". I think humans are not too dependent on computers.
First, computers make our lives much easier. Have you ever worked with documents? If you have, can you directly calculate or memorize and execute the office work you have been doing in Excel or Word? I'm sure you won't. Like this, computers are convenient for our lives because they process tasks dozens of times faster than the human brain.
Second, the statement that 'people are too dependent on computers' is an anachronistic one. People rely more on their cell phones than on computers, and computers are now used only for work such as working on documents or PPTs.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! Good job today! You didn't only present your ideas well, but also did it in perfect grammar and spelling, Keep up the great work. See you!
--Teacher Anji


Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are humans too dependent on computers?". 
>> CORRECT
I think humans are not too dependent on computers.
>> CORRECT
First, computers make our lives much easier. 
>> CORRECT
Have you ever worked with documents? 
>> CORRECT
If you have, can you directly calculate or memorize and execute the office work you have been doing in Excel or Word? I'm sure you won't.
>> CORRECT
 Like this, computers are convenient for our lives because they process tasks dozens of times faster than the human brain.
>> CORRECT
Second, the statement that 'people are too dependent on computers' is an anachronistic one. 
>> CORRECT
People rely more on their cell phones than on computers, and computers are now used only for work such as working on documents or PPTs.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139161 Favorite TV program? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 1
139160 How do you respect the privacy of all the members of your family? Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 2033
139159 How do you handle situations when a problem occurs? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 2572
139158 When was the last time you\'ve been working so hard? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 1
139157 How can you compare South Korean and English culture? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 0
139156 HOMEWORK FOR 08.14.2024 WRITING TASK: What are the drawbacks of... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 4
139155 Vegetarian ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 2346
139154 How do you think having a household helper can impact family... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 3301
139153 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 2683
139152 How do you prioritize your physical health in your daily routine? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 2140
139151 Mijas in Spain ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 8
139150 What is the most popular sport in your country? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 0
139149 Page 45 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 1
139148 Regret to eat oysters ±è*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 4
139147 8/14 writing task ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 5
139146 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 1
139145 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 6
139144 What do you look forward to nowadays? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 2
139143 [HW]How do you handle conflicts or disagreements with friends? °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 2074
139142 increase tax ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04