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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

It can\'t be called sport without safety.

작성자: 임*준
2024-09-23 2640

회원님의 영작문

In your opinion, what do you think is the most dangerous sport?

>>> I think, the most dangerous sport is one of the Olympic sports because to distinguish between superior and inferior among the best players from each countries, the sports should be more difficult, which can make player injurious
Among them, I want to choose ice skating sports because of a skate blade. A skate blade is made for speed on the ice. To lower the frictional force, a cross-section touching the ice is very thin, so it is veryvery dangerous. Of course, the players are fine, ordinary person has to be careful. In reality, there was a accident in ice link. One person fell and touched the ground, and his finger was cut off by another....
Everyone should always put safety first in any sport!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Jun!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. You really did well! :)
~ T. Camille


In your opinion, what do you think is the most dangerous sport?

>>> I think, the most dangerous sport is one of the Olympic sports because to distinguish between superior and inferior among the best players from each countries, the sports should be more difficult, which can make a player injurious.
>>> I think, the most dangerous sport is one of the Olympic sports because to distinguish between superior and inferior among the best players from each countries, the sports should be more difficult, which can make a player injured.
Among them, I want to choose ice skating sports because of a skate blade. 
>> Among them, I want to choose ice skating as one of the dangerous sports because of the skate blade. 
A skate blade is made for speed on the ice. 
>> CORRECT!
To lower the frictional force, a cross-section touching the ice is very thin, so it is very very dangerous. 
>> CORRECT!
Of course, the players are fine, ordinary person has to be careful. 
>> Of course, the players are fine, but an ordinary person has to be careful. 
In reality, there was a accident in ice link. 
>> In reality, there was an accident in the ice rink
One person fell and touched the ground, and his finger was cut off by another....
>> CORRECT!
Everyone should always put safety first in any sport!
>> CORRECT!

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