¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

increasing retirement age.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ç*¿¬
2024-09-27 2415

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree with increasing retirement age. The average life expectancy has been rising over the last several decades thanks to the development of medical industry. Nowadays we can see the people over sixty doing work in various fields. Our retirement age in Korea is supposed to increase gradually up to 65, which currently is 60.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Gi Yean!
Thank you for always making time to do your homework, no matter how busy you were. I agree! With the increase in life expectancy, many people are willing to work even after retirement, so extending the retirement age can help them continue to work and earn a fair salary.
- T. Caitlyn
I agree with increasing retirement age. 
>. CORRECT
The average life expectancy has been rising over the last several decades thanks to the development of medical industry.
>> The average life expectancy has been rising over the last several decades, thanks to the development of the medical industry.
 Nowadays we can see the people over sixty doing work in various fields. 
>> Nowadays, we can see people over sixty working in various fields.
Our retirement age in Korea is supposed to increase gradually up to 65, which currently is 60.
>> The retirement age in Korea is supposed to gradually increase to 65, which is currently 60.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140571 Are there any activities you used to enjoy but no longer do? Why? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-10-23 3
140570 What makes friends different from family? ¾ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-23 2
140569 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 2
140568 What are the benefits of meeting new people? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 2
140567 Who do you is the nicest president in the world? Explain your... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 1581
140566 What is your biggest fear for yourself? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 2075
140565 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 1625
140564 What factors are important to you when choosing a book to read?... ¹Ú*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 1653
140563 When you buy things online, are you worried they might be... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 2
140562 I think South Korea isn\'t ready to accept the queer ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 2559
140561 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 1684
140560 The percentage of keeping my promise ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 1748
140559 What kind of development do you think is needed in your company? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 1936
140558 Would you let your friends visit you all the time in your house?... ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 2068
140557 Why do you think some people enjoy breaking rules while others... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 2138
140556 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 3
140555 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 1761
140554 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 1901
140553 Why do teachers need to give their students an exam? ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 1863
140552 How will you invite a person who is always busy? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04