¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

increasing retirement age.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ç*¿¬
2024-09-27 2383

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree with increasing retirement age. The average life expectancy has been rising over the last several decades thanks to the development of medical industry. Nowadays we can see the people over sixty doing work in various fields. Our retirement age in Korea is supposed to increase gradually up to 65, which currently is 60.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Gi Yean!
Thank you for always making time to do your homework, no matter how busy you were. I agree! With the increase in life expectancy, many people are willing to work even after retirement, so extending the retirement age can help them continue to work and earn a fair salary.
- T. Caitlyn
I agree with increasing retirement age. 
>. CORRECT
The average life expectancy has been rising over the last several decades thanks to the development of medical industry.
>> The average life expectancy has been rising over the last several decades, thanks to the development of the medical industry.
 Nowadays we can see the people over sixty doing work in various fields. 
>> Nowadays, we can see people over sixty working in various fields.
Our retirement age in Korea is supposed to increase gradually up to 65, which currently is 60.
>> The retirement age in Korea is supposed to gradually increase to 65, which is currently 60.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140198 Why do you think people enjoy feeling scared (like in horror... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 1960
140197 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 2276
140196 If I could be reborn as an animal... ÀÌ*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 2154
140195 What would you do if your best friend stold something from you? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 1791
140194 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 2068
140193 What¡¯s the most important date in your calendar and why? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 1900
140192 My motto of life µµ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 2129
140191 Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 1981
140190 Which place or country would you like to visit at least once in... Àå*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 1981
140189 Yes ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 1
140188 What are the advantages of living in a city? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 0
140187 What is one hobby you¡¯ve always wanted to try but haven¡¯t yet? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 2068
140186 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 1941
140185 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 1946
140184 What is your favorite day of the week and why? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 5
140183 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 2313
140182 This is short essay about Korean greetings culture! ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 2
140181 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-01 0
140180 Which is a better way to spend your holiday, go away on vacation... ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-01 2019
140179 My homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-01 2645

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04