¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

increasing retirement age.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ç*¿¬
2024-09-27 2783

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree with increasing retirement age. The average life expectancy has been rising over the last several decades thanks to the development of medical industry. Nowadays we can see the people over sixty doing work in various fields. Our retirement age in Korea is supposed to increase gradually up to 65, which currently is 60.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Gi Yean!
Thank you for always making time to do your homework, no matter how busy you were. I agree! With the increase in life expectancy, many people are willing to work even after retirement, so extending the retirement age can help them continue to work and earn a fair salary.
- T. Caitlyn
I agree with increasing retirement age. 
>. CORRECT
The average life expectancy has been rising over the last several decades thanks to the development of medical industry.
>> The average life expectancy has been rising over the last several decades, thanks to the development of the medical industry.
 Nowadays we can see the people over sixty doing work in various fields. 
>> Nowadays, we can see people over sixty working in various fields.
Our retirement age in Korea is supposed to increase gradually up to 65, which currently is 60.
>> The retirement age in Korea is supposed to gradually increase to 65, which is currently 60.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138714 The disadvantages of technology ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 2828
138713 Homwork ½Å*Á¾ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 0
138712 Least favorable experience ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 2230
138711 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 2154
138710 2024.07.23 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 2315
138709 If you could have it your way, where would you like to go on... Á¤*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-07-23 2054
138708 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-23 4
138707 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-23 0
138706 Are you careful when using electricity? Explain your answer. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-23 2684
138705 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-23 0
138704 What\'s the typical weather in summer in your country? what are... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-23 2611
138703 What are some reasons why privacy is important for you? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-23 0
138702 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-23 0
138701 Which is better? ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-23 5
138700 nightlife ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-23 0
138699 Final remarks of \" Books are better than television ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-23 1945
138698 What is your favorite hobby? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-23 2369
138697 Do you buy clothes online? Why or why not? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-23 0
138696 Do you always believe what people tell you? Why or why not? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-23 2252
138695 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-23 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04