¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Are there different barriers for men and women at work?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2024-09-30 2578

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Korean households spend lots of money for their kids¡¯ private education which can have a big influence over the points of Korean SAT with which students will apply for the college that they want to get into. Therefore, a couple¡¯s double income has become a necessity, not an option to cover their children¡¯s private education fees. Parents at work have to spend hectic days during the weekday to the point of their overwork at work and they want to take some rest including sleeping in during the weekend when children are looking forward to having a quality time with their parents going around exciting places and fancy restaurants with them. This is the point where vicious circle starts. This highly competitive environment in Korea is one of the barriers many families have to face in daily lives. Fortunately, there are still many parents at work who try their best to be good parents on even weekend, making itineraries customizing their children during the weekday and put it into practice.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there once again, Yeong!
Thank you for this! You were very expressive and there are just some parts that we need to remove and include, so I gave a little correction on your composition
Have a nice day!
Aki~

Korean households spend lots of money for their kids¡¯ private education which can have a big influence over the points of Korean SAT with which students will apply for the college that they want to get into.
>>>  Korean households spend lots of money on their kids¡¯ private education which can have a big influence over the points of Korean SAT with which students will apply for the college that they want to get into.

Therefore, a couple¡¯s double income has become a necessity, not an option to cover their children¡¯s private education fees.
>> CORRECT!
OR >>> Therefore, having a dual income has become a necessity rather than an option to cover the private education expenses of their children.

Parents at work have to spend hectic days during the weekday to the point of their overwork at work and they want to take some rest including sleeping in during the weekend when children are looking forward to having a quality time with their parents going around exciting places and fancy restaurants with them.
>>> Parents at work have to spend hectic days during the weekdays to the point of overwork at work and they want to take some rest including sleeping in during the weekend when children are looking forward to having quality time with their parents going around exciting places and fancy restaurants with them.

This is the point where vicious circle starts. This highly competitive environment in Korea is one of the barriers many families have to face in daily lives.
>>> This is the point where the vicious circle starts. This highly competitive environment in Korea is one of the barriers many families have to face in their daily lives.

Fortunately, there are still many parents at work who try their best to be good parents on even weekend, making itineraries customizing their children during the weekday and put it into practice.
>>> Fortunately, there are still many parents at work who try their best to be good parents on even weekends, making itineraries and customizing their children during the weekdays and putting them into practice.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142290 HOMEWORK ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 0
142289 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1
142288 How do you think K-pop has helped people from different... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 2
142287 Talk about your dream bedroom. ÀÓ*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1452
142286 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1598
142285 Which do you prefer, a lenient or a strict teacher? ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1406
142284 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1618
142283 What is the \"No return, no exchange\" policy? Do stores in your... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1279
142282 4.Feb.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1
142281 Which street sign do you think is the most important for safety? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 3
142280 Hi there! ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1849
142279 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1682
142278 The size of kindness doesn\'t matter to the importance of... ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1
142277 Do you think borrowing money is different from borrowing an... ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1588
142276 Are you good at comforting someone? What is the best way to... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1303
142275 Today , it.s too hard.!! Á¶*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1765
142274 Do you still have stuffed toys until now? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1
142273 Talk about your best memory from a holiday. ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 2111
142272 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1378
142271 Write about a special event, festival, holiday, or activity... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1344

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04