무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Are there different barriers for men and women at work?

작성자: 김*경
2024-09-30 2490

회원님의 영작문

Korean households spend lots of money for their kids’ private education which can have a big influence over the points of Korean SAT with which students will apply for the college that they want to get into. Therefore, a couple’s double income has become a necessity, not an option to cover their children’s private education fees. Parents at work have to spend hectic days during the weekday to the point of their overwork at work and they want to take some rest including sleeping in during the weekend when children are looking forward to having a quality time with their parents going around exciting places and fancy restaurants with them. This is the point where vicious circle starts. This highly competitive environment in Korea is one of the barriers many families have to face in daily lives. Fortunately, there are still many parents at work who try their best to be good parents on even weekend, making itineraries customizing their children during the weekday and put it into practice.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there once again, Yeong!
Thank you for this! You were very expressive and there are just some parts that we need to remove and include, so I gave a little correction on your composition
Have a nice day!
Aki~

Korean households spend lots of money for their kids’ private education which can have a big influence over the points of Korean SAT with which students will apply for the college that they want to get into.
>>>  Korean households spend lots of money on their kids’ private education which can have a big influence over the points of Korean SAT with which students will apply for the college that they want to get into.

Therefore, a couple’s double income has become a necessity, not an option to cover their children’s private education fees.
>> CORRECT!
OR >>> Therefore, having a dual income has become a necessity rather than an option to cover the private education expenses of their children.

Parents at work have to spend hectic days during the weekday to the point of their overwork at work and they want to take some rest including sleeping in during the weekend when children are looking forward to having a quality time with their parents going around exciting places and fancy restaurants with them.
>>> Parents at work have to spend hectic days during the weekdays to the point of overwork at work and they want to take some rest including sleeping in during the weekend when children are looking forward to having quality time with their parents going around exciting places and fancy restaurants with them.

This is the point where vicious circle starts. This highly competitive environment in Korea is one of the barriers many families have to face in daily lives.
>>> This is the point where the vicious circle starts. This highly competitive environment in Korea is one of the barriers many families have to face in their daily lives.

Fortunately, there are still many parents at work who try their best to be good parents on even weekend, making itineraries customizing their children during the weekday and put it into practice.
>>> Fortunately, there are still many parents at work who try their best to be good parents on even weekends, making itineraries and customizing their children during the weekdays and putting them into practice.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
141662 change 민*정 완료 2024-12-25 1
141661 If you had a million dollars, would you still work? 이*범 완료 2024-12-25 2
141660 If you could work from anywhere in the world for a year, where... 이*범 완료 2024-12-25 2
141659 Which is a better choice, travelling alone or travelling with... 손*희 완료 2024-12-24 1490
141658 Have you ever complained about the food or service in a... 김*규 완료 2024-12-24 2
141657 Write about Christmas days plans. 차*혁 완료 2024-12-24 1552
141656 Do you think dreams have any meaning? 이*희 완료 2024-12-24 1980
141655 Homework 이*숙 완료 2024-12-24 1436
141654 Review 김*혜 완료 2024-12-24 2
141653 I will submit my English writing assignments by re-solving what... 김*혜 완료 2024-12-24 2
141652 Do you think convenience stores should offer healthier food... 임*미 완료 2024-12-24 1478
141651 추가 문제 김*혜 완료 2024-12-24 1781
141650 Homework & Question 이*주 완료 2024-12-24 1823
141649 Homework 오*봄 완료 2024-12-24 0
141648 What is included in your \"Bucket List\" 이*준 완료 2024-12-24 1568
141647 What might happen if you don’t use any phones in a day, week,... 한*연 완료 2024-12-23 1538
141646 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-12-23 1
141645 What do you like most about your room? Why? 이*윤 완료 2024-12-23 1992
141644 Why don’t governments ban smoking if it causes so many health... 송*자 완료 2024-12-23 2
141643 Home work 신*라 완료 2024-12-23 1680

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]