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For perfect writing

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿¬
2024-10-01 2415

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We all have the right to an education.
Education is not simply given to some classes, but a natural right of the people and a natural responsibility that the state must guarantee.
Modern society is mostly tied to jobs in education although there are many ways about making money.
Regardless of money, individuals' potential abilities can be developed through education, which can improve their quality of life.
In a capitalist society, social inequality is a serious problem and youth unemployment is rising. It can be one way to solve this problem.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Seo Yeon!
Thank you for expressing your thoughts through this composition :) Until your next work ^^
Chammy

We all have the right to an education.
Education is not simply given to some classes, but a natural right of the people and a natural responsibility that the state must guarantee.
>>Correct
Modern society is mostly tied to jobs in education although there are many ways about making money.
>> Modern society is mostly tied to educational jobs although there are many ways to make money.
Regardless of money, individuals' potential abilities can be developed through education, which can improve their quality of life.
In a capitalist society, social inequality is a serious problem and youth unemployment is rising. It can be one way to solve this problem.
>>Correct
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