¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

For perfect writing

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿¬
2024-10-01 2382

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We all have the right to an education.
Education is not simply given to some classes, but a natural right of the people and a natural responsibility that the state must guarantee.
Modern society is mostly tied to jobs in education although there are many ways about making money.
Regardless of money, individuals' potential abilities can be developed through education, which can improve their quality of life.
In a capitalist society, social inequality is a serious problem and youth unemployment is rising. It can be one way to solve this problem.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Seo Yeon!
Thank you for expressing your thoughts through this composition :) Until your next work ^^
Chammy

We all have the right to an education.
Education is not simply given to some classes, but a natural right of the people and a natural responsibility that the state must guarantee.
>>Correct
Modern society is mostly tied to jobs in education although there are many ways about making money.
>> Modern society is mostly tied to educational jobs although there are many ways to make money.
Regardless of money, individuals' potential abilities can be developed through education, which can improve their quality of life.
In a capitalist society, social inequality is a serious problem and youth unemployment is rising. It can be one way to solve this problem.
>>Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141476 ¹ßÀ½ Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-13 1706
141475 1.What makes you happy? 2.What makes you sad? 3.What makes you... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-13 1631
141474 Which is a better means of livelihood, employment in a company... ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1740
141473 Which is a better means of livelihood, employment in a company... ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1429
141472 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1
141471 PAST MANNERS ±è*´Ï¿¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1
141470 Some people plan on taking up new hobbies when they retire. Are... Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 0
141469 What are some manners from the past that are rarely or never... Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 0
141468 How do you feel when you drink too much coffee? Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 0
141467 What challenges do you think an immigrant faces in a new country? Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1
141466 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1381
141465 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1515
141464 Where is your dream travel destination? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1810
141463 If you could receive one special Christmas gift this year what... ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1472
141462 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1685
141461 Which electronics brands do you trust most? ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1645
141460 homework ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1
141459 What¡¯s the most fun exercise you¡¯ve ever tried? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1717
141458 \"How Meeting with Church Members Strengthens Bonds¡° ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1684
141457 what are some common reasons people feel guilty? ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1567

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04