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Giving advice

작성자: 박*경
2024-10-01 2615

회원님의 영작문

Yes. I have given advice to a teenage girl whom I know well. We have kept in touch for a long time, and her age is 19.
Recently, She asked me to give advice. She was in demanding time because of studying and she struggled to enter the university. Especailly, an contention that entering a well-known university is the best success is really dominant in our society, and this atmosphere makes her exhausted. And she has to write an colleage cover letter for hongik university. And I know well about the way to write that type of colleage cover letter because I have prepared it before. To lessen her stress, first I gave consolation to her and helped her to write colleage cover letter well.

I want to say cheer up to not only korean students but also students of all around the world. They always struggle to do well, enduring demanding time. These are difficult things, and sometimes this challenging environment makes students feel blue. But after tough period, all of students could be happy.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Ms. Casey! I feel that you are speaking from experience. Those are such sweet words from you. I hope they do not give up and do what really makes them happy in the end. 
-T. Sonny
Yes. 
>>Correct!
I have given advice to a teenage girl whom I know well. 
>>Correct!
We have kept in touch for a long time, and her age is 19.
>>We have kept in touch for a long time, and she is 19.
Recently, She asked me to give advice. 
>>Recently, she asked me for some advice.
She was in demanding time because of studying and she struggled to enter the university. 
>>She was in a demanding time  because of her studies and struggles to enter a university.
Especailly, an contention that entering a well-known university is the best success is really dominant in our society, and this atmosphere makes her exhausted. 
>>Especially, contentment from entering a well-known university is a powerful indication of one's success in our society, and this makes her exhausted.
And she has to write an colleage cover letter for hongik university. 
>>She also has to write a cover letter to Hongik University.
And I know well about the way to write that type of colleage cover letter because I have prepared it before. 
>>I know well about writing cover letters for college because I have done it before. 
To lessen her stress, first I gave consolation to her and helped her to write colleage cover letter well.
>>To lessen her stress, first, I consoled her and then helped her in writing her college cover letter.
I want to say cheer up to not only korean students but also students of all around the world. 
>>I want to cheer up not only Korean students, but also students from all around the world.
They always struggle to do well, enduring demanding time. 
>>They always struggle to do well while enduring the demands of life.
These are difficult things, and sometimes this challenging environment makes students feel blue. 
>>They are difficult, and sometimes this challenging environment makes students feel blue. 
But after tough period, all of students could be happy.
>>But after a tough period, all of the students could finally be happy.

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