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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

07oct2024- homework

작성자: 김*라
2024-10-07 2111

회원님의 영작문

Writing task: What kinds of things do people have to give up when they have children?

Answer: I think will be most people give up a lot of things, and I feel like I‘m giving up time especially for me.
My daily life is in line with my children’s time..
this makes me feel lonely and feels like I‘ve lost myself.

actually I had a depression that is starting to ruin me. So I had been really need to time for me
so I taught my kid to do a lot of things on her self and finally I got a lot of time.

when my daughter were nine years old so I could learn swim everyday morning and learn english! this is made me happy.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Ms. Nala! I'm so glad to hear that you are finally finding time for yourself again. It might be a slow progress, but it is still a progress. I'm so proud of you! I hope you continue caring for yourself because you are important, and your  children depends on their strong Mom! Thank you for sharing!
-T. Sonny 
I think will be most people give up a lot of things, and I feel like I‘m giving up time especially for me.
>>I think, most people give up a lot of things but, in my case, I have given up time for myself.
My daily life is in line with my children’s time..
>>Correct!
this makes me feel lonely and feels like I‘ve lost myself.
>>This makes me feel lonely and feel like I‘ve lost myself.
actually I had a depression that is starting to ruin me. 
>>Actually, I had depression that started to ruin me.
So I had been really need to time for me so I taught my kid to do a lot of things on her self and finally I got a lot of time.
>>So, I had to make time for myself that's why I taught my kid to do a lot of things on her own; that's when I started to get a lot of me-time.
when my daughter were nine years old so I could learn swim everyday morning and learn english!
>When my daughter turned nine, I had the chance to learn how to swim every morning and learn English, too!
this is made me happy.
>>These things made me happy.
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