¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2024-10-15 2967

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q: How can we reduce crime? With harsher punishments or better education?
A: I think both would be needed.
If people get a better education, then people would know the reason why they shouldn't commit crimes.
Still, there are some people who don't get enough education and they won't commit crimes if they know the punishments are harsher.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Paul!

Thank you for answering your homework.

~T. Divina^^

Here are some considerations:

1. I think both would be needed.
>>I think both are needed.

2. If people get a better education, then people would know the reason why they shouldn't commit crimes.
>>If people get better education, then they will know the reason why they shouldn't commit crimes.

3. Still, there are some people who don't get enough education and they won't commit crimes if they know the punishments are harsher.
>>Still, there are some people who don't get enough education but won't commit crimes once they know the punishments are harsher.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139328 demanding customer ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-21 11
139327 felt proud whil ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-21 12
139326 How can countries prevent conflicts when other nations are not... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 2
139325 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1
139324 20.Aug.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1
139323 Imagine a day in the life of a character who has the power to... Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 2107
139322 8/21 writing task ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 2
139321 How does social media influence the way people communicate with... Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 2281
139320 What do you like about your community? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1843
139319 What do you think is the right job for you when you grow up?... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 2162
139318 What did you do the day before yesterday and write about your... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 2543
139317 What\'s your thought on vending machines in elementary schools? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 2381
139316 What do you think is the best way to go to school? Explain. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 2946
139315 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1
139314 2024.08.19 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1857
139313 The positive side of peer pressure ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 2853
139312 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 2164
139311 homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 2
139310 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1768
139309 Do you sometimes compete with your friends? In what way? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 2312

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04