¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Ideal

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÓ*ÁØ
2024-10-16 1704

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Is it better to focus on developing good habits or breaking bad habits? Why?

>>> Although Both things are surely important, it is better for me to focus on breaking bad habits. Because I want to be close with an ideal man and ideal man of respect that I want to be has no flaw. If there is a person who has powerful strength but also has bad habit, that person may not be respected by all people. But who dosen't have any bad habits will be well liked by everyone, if not respected. Because I don't want to be blamed by anyone, I want to reduce my number of bad habits.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Jun!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. You really did well! :)
~ T. Camille


Is it better to focus on developing good habits or breaking bad habits? Why?

>>> Although both things are surely important, it is better for me to focus on breaking bad habits.
>> CORRECT!
Because I want to be close with an ideal man and ideal man of respect that I want to be has no flaw. 
>> That's because I want to be close with an ideal man, and an ideal man of respect that I want to be has no flaw. 
If there is a person who has powerful strength but also has bad habits, that person may not be respected by all people. 
>> CORRECT!
But who dosen't have any bad habits will be well liked by everyone, if not respected. 
>> But who doesn't have any bad habits will be well liked by everyone, if not respected. 
Because I don't want to be blamed by anyone, I want to reduce my number of bad habits.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139829 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2271
139828 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1829
139827 My responsibility Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2
139826 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1
139825 What chores are your responsibility? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 3
139824 What do you think of books being made into movies? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1
139823 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1934
139822 The best festival in Korea ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2012
139821 Is it always good to participate in contest or competitions? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2099
139820 What do you like the most about your family? Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2249
139819 Feeling sad ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2266
139818 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2
139817 Homework : What is the most valuable item you\'ve ever spent... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1788
139816 A recent activity that I enjoyed ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2161
139815 Do you want to travel to outer space? Why, or why not? ÀÌ*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2062
139814 five years ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1
139813 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1
139812 The things I want to tell you ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2244
139811 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1677
139810 What¡¯s the most unusual drink you¡¯ve ever tried, and did you... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2073

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04