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what are the benefits of collecting?

작성자: 김*린
2024-10-17 2114

회원님의 영작문

I think it can be a habit. Therefore you can feel refreshing or happy whenever you do the habit. Also in case of collecting, you can be a expert when it comes to collecting, like coins, dolls, books, clothes, etc. Adittionly you can meet some friends with a same interest. In conclusion, it can be a habit, you can be a expert and meet similar friends as well. And I think it's good to collect from an unburdened line. I mean not that expensive to you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Lin! Good job expressing your ideas! You’ve made some great points about collecting as a habit and the benefits it brings. Nicely written!

I think it can be a habit. 
Correct, or
>>I think collecting can be a rewarding habit. [ You can use pastime in case you meant hobby instead of habit)
Therefore you can feel refreshing or happy whenever you do the habit. 
>>Therefore, you can feel refreshed or happy whenever you do  the habit.
OR
>> Therefore, you can feel a breath of fresh air or a burst of happiness whenever you engage in the habit.
Also in case of collecting, you can be a expert when it comes to collecting, like coins, dolls, books, clothes, etc. 
>>Also, when it comes to collecting, you can become an expert in areas like coins, dolls, books, clothes, etc.
OR
>> Also, when it comes to collecting, you can cultivate expertise in areas such as coins, dolls, books, clothing, and more.
Adittionly you can meet some friends with a same interest. 
>>Additionally, you can meet some friends with the same interest.
OR
>>Moreover, you can connect with friends who share similar interests.
In conclusion, it can be a habit, you can be a expert and meet similar friends as well. 
>>In conclusion, it can be a habit, you can become an expert, and you can meet like-minded friends as well.
OR
>> In summary, collecting can become a rewarding habit, allow you to develop expertise, and help you connect with like-minded friends.
And I think it's good to collect from an unburdened line. I mean not that expensive to you.
>>And I think it's good to collect from an unburdened perspective. I mean, it shouldn't be too expensive for you.
OR
>> I believe it's beneficial to collect items that are not overly burdensome. By that, I mean items that are affordable for you.
OR
>> I believe it's beneficial to collect items that are affordable and enjoyable, allowing you to pursue your passion without financial strain.


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