¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*´Ô
2024-10-23 1924

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think medical insurance system is wrong in my country.
Include in private insurances can cover the all of medical bills.
Some doctor suggest methods like hospitalization to ask for all of fee of it.
If people are sick It is easy for them to go hospital by free .
We only have to pay for plastic surgery bills.
Many people don't cut down the money for their beauty
Although the prices is high.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Ms. Sunny!
I'm getting more impressed with you for making long sentences now. Aren't you proud of yourself?
Well, thank you for trying to express your thoughts well, and try to observe those tiny corrections that I made to make your sentences correct. Great job!
Aki~



I think medical insurance system is wrong in my country.
>>> I think the medical insurance system is wrong in my country.

Include in private insurances can cover the all of medical bills.
>>> Including private insurance can cover the all of medical bills.

Some doctor suggest methods like hospitalization to ask for all of fee of it.
>>> Some doctors suggest methods like hospitalization to ask for all of the fees of it.

If people are sick It is easy for them to go hospital by free .
>>> If people are sick It is easy for them to go hospital for free

We only have to pay for plastic surgery bills.
>> CORRECT!

Many people don't cut down the money for their beauty.
>> CORRECT!

Although the prices is high.
>>> Although the prices are high.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141452 Your efforts will never betray you ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 1673
141451 How do you feel when you learn something new? Does it make you... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 2
141450 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 1688
141449 What¡¯s your favorite dessert to order when eating out? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 9
141448 What¡¯s your go-to breakfast when you¡¯re in a rush? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 9
141447 Homework ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 1710
141446 Homework ¾È*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 2017
141445 What does \'first impressions matter\' mean? Do you agree? ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 0
141444 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 1923
141443 homework ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 0
141442 snow ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 1
141441 Would you rather stay over at a super fancy mansion or a cozy... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 1780
141440 ¹ßÀ½ Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 1560
141439 Page.9 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 2
141438 What made you interested in doing Mixed Martial Arts? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 1998
141437 Which is better for communication, e-mail or handwritten letters? ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 2024
141436 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 1869
141435 What do you think of men who apply makeup on their faces or use... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 1765
141434 What are your thoughts on kids having slumber parties regularly? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 1521
141433 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04