¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*´Ô
2024-10-23 1756

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think medical insurance system is wrong in my country.
Include in private insurances can cover the all of medical bills.
Some doctor suggest methods like hospitalization to ask for all of fee of it.
If people are sick It is easy for them to go hospital by free .
We only have to pay for plastic surgery bills.
Many people don't cut down the money for their beauty
Although the prices is high.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Ms. Sunny!
I'm getting more impressed with you for making long sentences now. Aren't you proud of yourself?
Well, thank you for trying to express your thoughts well, and try to observe those tiny corrections that I made to make your sentences correct. Great job!
Aki~



I think medical insurance system is wrong in my country.
>>> I think the medical insurance system is wrong in my country.

Include in private insurances can cover the all of medical bills.
>>> Including private insurance can cover the all of medical bills.

Some doctor suggest methods like hospitalization to ask for all of fee of it.
>>> Some doctors suggest methods like hospitalization to ask for all of the fees of it.

If people are sick It is easy for them to go hospital by free .
>>> If people are sick It is easy for them to go hospital for free

We only have to pay for plastic surgery bills.
>> CORRECT!

Many people don't cut down the money for their beauty.
>> CORRECT!

Although the prices is high.
>>> Although the prices are high.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140524 Can people change their personality if they want to? Do you know... ÀÎ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 2421
140523 Does an age difference make it difficult to be friends? ÀÎ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 2243
140522 Moving grave ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1927
140521 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 2381
140520 My most memorable trip destination is ¡¯New Zealand¡¯ ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 2232
140519 I think save the money is strong point of going Dutch ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-20 1
140518 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-20 1
140517 What do you think of reporting or newscasting as a job? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-10-20 2203
140516 What was your favorite sitcom? Why did you like it? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-10-20 2364
140515 Have you ever been to a party? Write about it. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-20 2144
140514 Is sport an important part of education? What does it teach... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-20 2235
140513 Relax ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-10-20 1768
140512 Well ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-10-20 2259
140511 Yes ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-10-20 1731
140510 homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-10-20 1897
140509 Q) Do you think it¡¯s important to visit doctors when you have a... ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-20 1
140508 If you could try any new activity or hobby, what would it be? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-10-20 4
140507 my motivation Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-19 3
140506 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-19 1
140505 What are the similarities/differences between collectors and... ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-10-19 2274

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04