¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people say that humans are scarier than the most dangerous animals. Do you agree or disagree?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2024-10-24 2160

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I disagree because humans can use weapons and smart but the most dangerous animals is smart and strong.
If humans don't have weapons they can't win against the most dangerous animals.
So humans are weaker than the most dangerous animals.(^_^)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your correced composition, Yale! Many thanks for sending it. Please take a look at the few revisions and alternative expressions provided. Have a good night sleep! 


Cheers,
Jean~~




                 Some people say that humans are scarier than the most dangerous animals. Do you agree or disagree?


I disagree because humans can use weapons and smart but the most dangerous animals is smart and strong.
>> I disagree because humans can use weapons and are smart, but the most dangerous animals are smart and strong.

If humans don't have weapons they can't win against the most dangerous animals.
>> If humans don't have weapons, they can't win against the most dangerous animals.
>> OR: Without weapons, humans can't defeat the most dangerous animals. 

So humans are weaker than the most dangerous animals.(^_^)
>> CORRECT~~



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139786 thankful ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 1
139785 Do you think it is more important to make a lot of money or to... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 2587
139784 Let\'s We think about The Important of music. °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 2172
139783 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 2
139782 What is your favorite drink? Is there a special memory or story... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 2539
139781 Aromatherapy ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 2848
139780 Would you rather have more time or more money? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 2467
139779 Is it important to receive a salary increase yearly? Why or why... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 1
139778 What do you hate spending money on? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 0
139777 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 1
139776 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 1
139775 What kind of activity do you find invigorating? ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-09-08 2552
139774 Homework ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-08 1
139773 homework ¹Ú*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-08 1
139772 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-08 1
139771 Cinema ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-09-08 2361
139770 What do you think of adults playing with toys? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-08 2377
139769 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-08 0
139768 Which do you think is better, cold or hot drinks? Why? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-08 2843
139767 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-08 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04