¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*´Ô
2024-11-06 2020

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Our government gives a lot of benefits to the people.
Especially baby's moms and elderly have more it.
Elderly's Basic pension system have been introduced for 10 years.
70% of over 65 year old can get a pension from government.
And also government gives the jobs which is kind of picking some garbage.
So elderly can recieve 600 dollars everymonth.
My mom goes to free restaurant served by government for lunch.
Many benefits are following for them .
But many old people can't afford their hospital fee.
If their symptoms are seriously.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Ms. Sunny!
People who pay taxes are delighted when we see where our taxes are going. It should be given for the welfare of the citizen and not for the politician only.
Have a great day!
Aki~

Our government gives a lot of benefits to the people.
>>> CORRECT!

Especially baby's moms and elderly have more it.
>>> Especially for new moms and elderly people.

Elderly's Basic pension system have been introduced for 10 years.
>>> Elderly's basic pension system has been introduced for 10 years.

70% of over 65 year old can get a pension from government.
>>> 70% of those over 65 years old can get a pension from the government.

And also government gives the jobs which is kind of picking some garbage.
>>> And also the government gives easy jobs like picking up some garbage.

So elderly can recieve 600 dollars everymonth.
>>> So these elderly people can receive 600 dollars every month.

My mom goes to free restaurant served by government for lunch.
>>> My mom goes to a free restaurant served by the government for lunch.

Many benefits are following for them .
>>> CORRECT!

But many old people can't afford their hospital fee.
>>> But many old people can't afford their hospital fees.

If their symptoms are seriously.
>>>  If their symptoms are serious.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141911 homework ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 1715
141910 Music can control our emotions ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 4
141909 What is fashion for me? À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 1417
141908 interview script Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 1
141907 interview script Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 2
141906 interview script Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 2
141905 interview script Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 3
141904 Write about the topic: \"Staying Healthy and Active During... ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 1235
141903 What is your favourite dish? Can you tell me why you like it? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 1233
141902 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 1423
141901 trip ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 0
141900 Homework4 ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 1669
141899 book ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 2
141898 [HOMEWORK] Which greeting kind of annoys you? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 0
141897 Seollal ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 1342
141896 What is your favorite way to practice your English? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 1740
141895 Online shopping ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 1369
141894 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 1266
141893 My personal experience ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 1463
141892 Do you have as much freedom as you want in your life? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 1368

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04