¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*´Ô
2024-11-06 2326

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Our government gives a lot of benefits to the people.
Especially baby's moms and elderly have more it.
Elderly's Basic pension system have been introduced for 10 years.
70% of over 65 year old can get a pension from government.
And also government gives the jobs which is kind of picking some garbage.
So elderly can recieve 600 dollars everymonth.
My mom goes to free restaurant served by government for lunch.
Many benefits are following for them .
But many old people can't afford their hospital fee.
If their symptoms are seriously.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Ms. Sunny!
People who pay taxes are delighted when we see where our taxes are going. It should be given for the welfare of the citizen and not for the politician only.
Have a great day!
Aki~

Our government gives a lot of benefits to the people.
>>> CORRECT!

Especially baby's moms and elderly have more it.
>>> Especially for new moms and elderly people.

Elderly's Basic pension system have been introduced for 10 years.
>>> Elderly's basic pension system has been introduced for 10 years.

70% of over 65 year old can get a pension from government.
>>> 70% of those over 65 years old can get a pension from the government.

And also government gives the jobs which is kind of picking some garbage.
>>> And also the government gives easy jobs like picking up some garbage.

So elderly can recieve 600 dollars everymonth.
>>> So these elderly people can receive 600 dollars every month.

My mom goes to free restaurant served by government for lunch.
>>> My mom goes to a free restaurant served by the government for lunch.

Many benefits are following for them .
>>> CORRECT!

But many old people can't afford their hospital fee.
>>> But many old people can't afford their hospital fees.

If their symptoms are seriously.
>>>  If their symptoms are serious.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141596 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 2
141595 What historical sites did you visit and what did you learn? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 5
141594 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1644
141593 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1621
141592 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1637
141591 If you could inspire someone, what would you inspire them to do? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1
141590 composition ±è*´Ï¿¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1314
141589 What do you consider to be the biggest challenge facing the... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 0
141588 Hi I\'m SEIN ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1383
141587 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 2
141586 Do you think the court will approve president Yoon\'s... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1431
141585 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1373
141584 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1550
141583 dress ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1
141582 gift ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 0
141581 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1596
141580 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1752
141579 How does the location of a business affect its success? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1563
141578 I will be discouraged when I can\'t ask help to my family or... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1817
141577 New activities I want to try in Jeju Island ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 2021

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04