무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Has your country had a female leader? Are female leaders different from male ones? How?

작성자: 김*경
2024-11-09 2301

회원님의 영작문

There are not as many female leaders as you might expect. We have still much more male leaders than female ones. We recognize that there is wrong with this unbalance of gender in leadership and have tried to improve this issue. We’ve come a long way about it, but not as much as we have expected. We still have a long way to go about it. I attributed this unfairness to our long-standing perspective which must have formed under the Confucianism. I don’t think that female is inferior to male per se. Moreover, I know many women who have done their best at work as well as at home. But In addition to our perverted view for women, circumstances where we raise children might have pushed many women out of work. If one couple is asked who is in charge of raising a child without appropriate support, woman would choose a child and leave her work for good because it is almost impossible to get back to her career after some years of raising a child.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Mr. Steve! I agree that most societies were more inclined to patriarchy, especially in the past. But, these days, some conditions have changed. Though, I believe that leadership is ultimately shaped by various factors and not by gender alone.
-T. Sonny
There are not as many female leaders as you might expect. 
>>Correct!
We have still much more male leaders than female ones. 
>>We still have more male leaders than female ones. 
We recognize that there is wrong with this unbalance of gender in leadership and have tried to improve this issue. 
>>We recognize that there is a gender leadership gap and have tried to improve this issue. 
We’ve come a long way about it, but not as much as we have expected. We still have a long way to go about it. 
>>We’ve come a long way, but not as much as we expected.
We still have a long way to go about it. 
>>We have a long journey ahead of us.
I attributed this unfairness to our long-standing perspective which must have formed under the Confucianism. 
>>I attributed this unfairness to our long-standing perspective which must have formed under Confucianism. 
I don’t think that female is inferior to male per se. 
>>I don’t think that females are inferior to males per se. 
Moreover, I know many women who have done their best at work as well as at home. 
>>Moreover, I know numerous women who have done their best on the job and in the household 
But In addition to our perverted view for women, circumstances where we raise children might have pushed many women out of work. 
>>But in addition to our corrupted perception of women, child-bearing-related circumstances might have hindered many women from working. 
If one couple is asked who is in charge of raising a child without appropriate support, woman would choose a child and leave her work for good because it is almost impossible to get back to her career after some years of raising a child.
>>If a couple were to be asked who is in charge of raising a child without much support, the woman would choose the child and leave work for good because it is practically impossible to get back to her career after some years of raising a child.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
141036 Where do you think is the best place to live in South Korea... 차*환 완료 2024-11-18 1488
141035 Homework 이*늘 완료 2024-11-18 2115
141034 Why do people get nervous in job interviews? 박*현 완료 2024-11-18 1738
141033 Do you have a favorite item in your collection? What is it, and... 임*미 완료 2024-11-18 1598
141032 Homework 김*현 완료 2024-11-18 1745
141031 Homework 김*현 완료 2024-11-18 1452
141030 What are the consequences of spending less time interacting... 안*윤 완료 2024-11-18 1728
141029 I think there are more advantage than disadvantage. 이*형 완료 2024-11-18 2
141028 Music 최*정 완료 2024-11-18 1470
141027 Page.51 김*진 완료 2024-11-18 1762
141026 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-11-17 1
141025 How do you feel about the idea of \\ 진*호 완료 2024-11-17 2
141024 Who is the healthiest person you know? What do they do to stay... 차*혁 완료 2024-11-17 1817
141023 People get exercise while playing sports. Which sports are the... 차*혁 완료 2024-11-17 1533
141022 How do you begin your day? Write about it. 차*진 완료 2024-11-17 1551
141021 Do you think it\'s important to have a buddy? Why or why not? 진*호 완료 2024-11-17 1
141020 Are you close to your neighbors? How do you get along with them? 차*진 완료 2024-11-17 1972
141019 People 김*민 완료 2024-11-17 1732
141018 Dolphinsdoll 김*민 완료 2024-11-17 1591
141017 When do you prefer having a family gathering? 김*린 완료 2024-11-17 1805

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]