¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2024-11-19 1636

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Much of a country's development is its economic development. Presidents put great efforts into developing a country's economy, and sometimes they fail to develop it, leading to a tragic end.
However, economic development is not all about national development. Other types of development are also important developments.
For example, there is environmental development. If you only care about economic development, you should also think about the development of the environment because it destroys the environment a lot.
However, I think that a state is a union of people, and its purpose is to live well in abundance. So, I think economic development is more important than anything else.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee! It's been a long time since I last checked your essay! I was surprised to check your essays in a row. Thank you! Keep it up! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Much of a country's development is its economic development.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Presidents put great efforts into developing a country's economy, and sometimes they fail to develop it, leading to a tragic end.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, economic development is not all about national development.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Other types of development are also important developments.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
>>>  Other types of development are also important.
For example, there is an environmental development.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 If you only care about economic development, you should also think about the development of the environment because it destroys the environment a lot.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, I think that a state is a union of people, and its purpose is to live well in abundance. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
So, I think economic development is more important than anything else.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141229 Which is a better viewing experience, watching plays or watching... ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 1223
141228 What might happen if you don¡¯t use any phones in a day, week,... ÀÌ*Å ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 1421
141227 How would your life be different without access to technology? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 1541
141226 Is the weather in a country important when you choose a place to... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 1359
141225 What annoys you when you hang out with your friends? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 1
141224 Homework ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 1
141223 LCDS interview 7,8 ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 1291
141222 LCDS interview answer 5,6 ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 1491
141221 LCDS Interview answer 4 ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 1310
141220 LCDS interview 3 ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 1232
141219 How do you relax after a busy day? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 4
141218 The first snow of this year ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 1
141217 What makes people violent? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 1341
141216 Are you curious about your future? Why or why not? ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 1328
141215 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 1307
141214 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 1359
141213 How can we disconnect from our phones to truly experience the... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 1224
141212 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 1
141211 The effect of brave on my life Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 1692
141210 Which country would be the most enjoyable to live in? What makes... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 1161

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04