¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2024-11-19 1655

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Much of a country's development is its economic development. Presidents put great efforts into developing a country's economy, and sometimes they fail to develop it, leading to a tragic end.
However, economic development is not all about national development. Other types of development are also important developments.
For example, there is environmental development. If you only care about economic development, you should also think about the development of the environment because it destroys the environment a lot.
However, I think that a state is a union of people, and its purpose is to live well in abundance. So, I think economic development is more important than anything else.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee! It's been a long time since I last checked your essay! I was surprised to check your essays in a row. Thank you! Keep it up! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Much of a country's development is its economic development.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Presidents put great efforts into developing a country's economy, and sometimes they fail to develop it, leading to a tragic end.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, economic development is not all about national development.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Other types of development are also important developments.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
>>>  Other types of development are also important.
For example, there is an environmental development.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 If you only care about economic development, you should also think about the development of the environment because it destroys the environment a lot.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, I think that a state is a union of people, and its purpose is to live well in abundance. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
So, I think economic development is more important than anything else.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140689 Have you ever hosted a family gathering at your home? What was... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-29 1613
140688 Enough time ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-29 1614
140687 Have you ever had a bad shopping experience? what happened? À§*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-29 1
140686 Are there any traditional dishes form your culture that you... À§*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-29 1
140685 What do you think is the most important traffic rule to follow... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 1556
140684 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 1487
140683 Why is it important to follow guidelines and principles? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 1456
140682 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 1
140681 28Oct2024_homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 1630
140680 home work Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 1485
140679 How much time do you spend outdoors every week? ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 2299
140678 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 1588
140677 Hi sharon ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 1
140676 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 1471
140675 what place can be like home? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 1630
140674 I want to visit all badminton gym Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 12
140673 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 1407
140672 homework Àå*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 1878
140671 get rid of ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 0
140670 living room ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04