¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2024-11-25 2381

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q) Please write about the topic, "The Importance of Kindness as a Personality Trait.¡°

A) Kindness is important for everyone, even if we don't consider personality traits.
The question of how much kindness should be expressed is really difficult.
The other person may misunderstand because of too much kindness.
And if we continue to give the kindness to the other person, the other person may think of it as a right to be granted later.
This can happen especially when we express the kindness with money.
However, it would be better to show kindness in words to an introvert, and to an extrovert, it would be more necessary to show kindness in action.
However, this is only the basis of my judgment and not absolute.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi David! Your thoughts on kindness are truly meaningful, and I can see the care you¡¯ve put into expressing them. I made a couple of small corrections, but overall, your message was heartfelt and impactful. Keep sharing your beautiful ideas with the world; it makes a difference! 


~ Teacher Lia



Kindness is important for everyone, even if we don't consider personality traits.
>> CORRECT

The question of how much kindness should be expressed is really difficult.
>> CORRECT

The other person may misunderstand because of too much kindness.
>> CORRECT

And if we continue to give the kindness to the other person, the other person may think of it as a right to be granted later.
>> And if we continue to give kindness to the other person, they may think of it as a right to be granted later.

This can happen especially when we express the kindness with money.
>> This can happen especially when we express kindness with money.

However, it would be better to show kindness in words to an introvert, and to an extrovert, it would be more necessary to show kindness in action.
>> CORRECT

However, this is only the basis of my judgment and not absolute.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140807 What are the most common organizations in your country and what... ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-05 2083
140806 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-05 1678
140805 What part does luck play in success? ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-05 1891
140804 Do you prefer living in a small town or a big city? Why? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-11-05 2
140803 Homework ¾È*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-05 2235
140802 If you could break one rule without any consequences, which one... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-05 1765
140801 What unique flavors and textures can be experienced in raw meat... ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-11-05 1868
140800 Homework ¾ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-05 2384
140799 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-05 2
140798 Homework À±*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-05 1871
140797 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-04 1
140796 What do you enjoy most about your job? ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-04 1954
140795 What¡¯s the best place to eat in your city? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-11-04 1639
140794 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-11-04 2337
140793 Should beauty standards include people of all shapes, sizes, and... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-04 1
140792 Good evening ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-04 1
140791 lunch box ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-04 1
140790 What would a perfect day look like for you? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-11-04 2181
140789 Homework Àå*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-04 2146
140788 What makes an actor/actress talented for you? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-04 1734

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04