¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2024-11-25 2611

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q) Please write about the topic, "The Importance of Kindness as a Personality Trait.¡°

A) Kindness is important for everyone, even if we don't consider personality traits.
The question of how much kindness should be expressed is really difficult.
The other person may misunderstand because of too much kindness.
And if we continue to give the kindness to the other person, the other person may think of it as a right to be granted later.
This can happen especially when we express the kindness with money.
However, it would be better to show kindness in words to an introvert, and to an extrovert, it would be more necessary to show kindness in action.
However, this is only the basis of my judgment and not absolute.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi David! Your thoughts on kindness are truly meaningful, and I can see the care you¡¯ve put into expressing them. I made a couple of small corrections, but overall, your message was heartfelt and impactful. Keep sharing your beautiful ideas with the world; it makes a difference! 


~ Teacher Lia



Kindness is important for everyone, even if we don't consider personality traits.
>> CORRECT

The question of how much kindness should be expressed is really difficult.
>> CORRECT

The other person may misunderstand because of too much kindness.
>> CORRECT

And if we continue to give the kindness to the other person, the other person may think of it as a right to be granted later.
>> And if we continue to give kindness to the other person, they may think of it as a right to be granted later.

This can happen especially when we express the kindness with money.
>> This can happen especially when we express kindness with money.

However, it would be better to show kindness in words to an introvert, and to an extrovert, it would be more necessary to show kindness in action.
>> CORRECT

However, this is only the basis of my judgment and not absolute.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139621 How do you deal with procrastination? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 2978
139620 homework ¹Ú*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-01 6
139619 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-01 1
139618 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-01 0
139617 What are the things kids your age worry about. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-01 2158
139616 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-01 2483
139615 Which pet do you think is the best for children? Why? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-01 2424
139614 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-01 1
139613 What is the most environmentally friendly form of transportation? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-01 1
139612 What are the advantages of rushing things? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-01 1
139611 HOMEWORK FOR 08.30.2024 WRITING TASK: What was the best decision... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-01 3
139610 homework ¹Ú*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-01 1
139609 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-31 0
139608 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-31 0
139607 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-31 0
139606 Have you ever seen a traffic accident? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 0
139605 What is your opinion on the importance of learning a second... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 2075
139604 How do you avoid arguments? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 2270
139603 Have you ever been to a fancy dress / costume party? What was it... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 2465
139602 2024.08.30 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 2126

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04