¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

It\'s a message that makes childhood is so tired.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Çü
2024-11-26 1853

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

People talk to chilldren "If you are so hard something, you can do anything". But I think It is not good message. This is because most people are good at something and bad at something. But I don't said that somthing I was bad at, I gave up quickly.
Sometimes we have to enjoy to do something and be satisfied to our results for examples speaking forign language, playing the piano, taking a exercise and so on. We can enjoy it for longer and grow by doing it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thanks for doing your essay Ms. Ella! Well done! Your knowledge of the dispute and the events surrounding it shows in your essay. It is clear that you understand the main points of contention, and you have discussed these in an easily understood way. Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
People talk to chilldren "If you are so hard something, you can do anything".
>>> People often tell children, "If you try hard enough, you can do anything."
But I think It is not good message. 
>>> I believe it's not always the best message.
This is because most people are good at something and bad at something.
>>>The truth is, everyone is good at some things and not so good at others.
But I don't said that somthing I was bad at, I gave up quickly.
>>> But it's important to note that just because we struggle with something doesn't mean we should give up quickly.
Sometimes we have to enjoy to do something and be satisfied to our results for examples speaking forign language, playing the piano, taking a exercise and so on. 
>>> Sometimes, it's more about enjoying the process and being satisfied with our progress, rather than just aiming for perfection. For example, learning a foreign language, playing the piano, or exercising
We can enjoy it for longer and grow by doing it.
>>> We can find joy in these activities, and by doing so, we can improve and grow over time.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143666 When do you drink coffee? Do you drink it at the same time every... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-04-16 1300
143665 IELTS SPEAKING 6 Àü*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-16 0
143664 IELTS SPEAKING 5 Àü*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-16 1
143663 wildfire ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-16 0
143662 typhoon ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-16 0
143661 What would you change about your childhood? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2025-04-16 1
143660 Differences and similarities between Western and Asian people ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-04-16 1049
143659 You mentioned that if you had a child, you would want him/her to... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2025-04-16 0
143658 The most popular festival ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-16 980
143657 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-04-16 1050
143656 Do you think people should always return a favor? Why or why not? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 1
143655 Name three types of fruit-bearing trees you would like to grow... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 2
143654 What was your first day at work like? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 1
143653 What are your healthy and bad eating habits? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 1142
143652 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 1
143651 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 1168
143650 the same ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 0
143649 typhoon ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 0
143648 fear of heights ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 1
143647 4/15 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-04-15 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04