¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Which is the best activity for tourism, domestic or international travelling?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-11-26 1975

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Tourism is an important activity that offers people new experiences. Here are some arguments supporting that international travel is the best activity for tourism.
First, international travel provides a rich cultural experience. By immersing oneself in the unique traditions and languages of different countries, travelers can directly experience the diversity of the world. This greatly helps in broadening one¡¯s perspective and understanding various cultures. For example, visiting historic cities in Europe or exploring traditional villages in Asia offers invaluable experiences that cannot be obtained through domestic travel.
Second, looking at the numerical trends in international travel, we can see a rise in the number of overseas tourists in recent years. According to the attached graph, there were frequent instances where the number of overseas tourists exceeded 2,600,000 during certain periods. This indicates a growing demand for international travel.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! This piece is great! The world is your stage so feel free to roam and learn. I appreciate the points you raised in this essay. Let us discuss more next time. See you!
--Teacher Anji


Tourism is an important activity that offers people new experiences. 
>> CORRECT
Here are some arguments supporting that international travel is the best activity for tourism.
>> CORRECT
First, international travel provides a rich cultural experience.
>> CORRECT
By immersing oneself in the unique traditions and languages of different countries, travelers can directly experience the diversity of the world. 
>> CORRECT
This greatly helps in broadening one¡¯s perspective and understanding various cultures. 
>> This greatly helps broaden one¡¯s perspective and understanding of various cultures.
For example, visiting historic cities in Europe or exploring traditional villages in Asia offers invaluable experiences that cannot be obtained through domestic travel.
>> CORRECT
Second, looking at the numerical trends in international travel, we can see a rise in the number of overseas tourists in recent years. 
>> CORRECT
According to the attached graph, there were frequent instances where the number of overseas tourists exceeded 2,600,000 during certain periods. 
>> According to the attached graph, there were frequent instances when the number of overseas tourists exceeded 2,600,000 during certain periods.
This indicates a growing demand for international travel.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140704 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-29 1
140703 Is it important to learn slang or swear words when learning a... ¹Ú*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2024-10-29 2285
140702 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-29 2139
140701 Do you think people sometimes give up too easily when trying to... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-29 2316
140700 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-29 2
140699 What volunteer work do you see yourself doing? Why? ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-29 2121
140698 What are some protocols you have at work? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-29 2115
140697 What would happen if people lived in cities without any cars or... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-29 2262
140696 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-29 2512
140695 I\'m less honest with my parants than when I was young ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-10-29 2359
140694 My feelings when someone has been untruthful to me ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-10-29 2309
140693 Do you think people nowadays spend too much time taking... ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-29 1
140692 What does being \"rich\" or \"wealthy\" mean to you personally?... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-29 2184
140691 How much do you think your job defines who you are as a person? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-29 2215
140690 How does the affordability of public transportation influence... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-29 2307
140689 Have you ever hosted a family gathering at your home? What was... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-29 2190
140688 Enough time ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-29 2122
140687 Have you ever had a bad shopping experience? what happened? À§*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-29 1
140686 Are there any traditional dishes form your culture that you... À§*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-29 1
140685 What do you think is the most important traffic rule to follow... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 1964

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04