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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Homework

작성자: 노*철
2024-11-27 1807

회원님의 영작문

Q) How connecting with nature can help people find peace and clarity?
A) I think we should distinguish between mine and ours, what I can use by my will and what I borrow for a while but I have to pass on to my children in the end.
Many people don't value what's not mine.
Because even if we use it carefully and manage it well, it will never be mine.
If something is damaged after we have rented it for a while, we have to compensate for that.
However, this mind seems to be lacking in nature.
Our human beginnings came from nature and eventually return to nature.
Our origin is nature and our place to rest is also nature.
The connection between us and nature can be obtained through any campaign or big activity, but I think the world will be more peaceful and we can find obvious clarity in our lives if we fundamentally change the idea that nature is our body.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi David! I just went through your answers, and I have to say, they’re very well-constructed and insightful! Your thoughts on distinguishing between personal ownership and shared responsibility are enlightening, especially when applied to how we view nature. The way you highlighted the connection between humans and nature as both our origin and resting place was particularly thought-provoking.


Your perspective on shifting our mindset to see nature as an extension of ourselves is powerful and could inspire meaningful change. Great job articulating your ideas so clearly. It really adds depth to the context. Keep up the amazing work!


~ T. Lia


I think we should distinguish between mine and ours, what I can use by my will and what I borrow for a while but I have to pass on to my children in the end.
>> CORRECT 

Many people don't value what's not mine.
>> CORRECT or 
>> Many people don't value what doesn’t belong to them.

Because even if we use it carefully and manage it well, it will never be mine.
>> Even if we use something carefully and manage it well, it will never truly belong to us.

If something is damaged after we have rented it for a while, we have to compensate for that.
>> CORRECT

However, this mind seems to be lacking in nature.
>> However, this thought seems to be lacking in nature.

Our human beginnings came from nature and eventually return to nature.
>> CORRECT

Our origin is nature and our place to rest is also nature.
>> CORRECT

The connection between us and nature can be obtained through any campaign or big activity, but I think the world will be more peaceful and we can find obvious clarity in our lives if we fundamentally change the idea that nature is our body.
>> CORRECT
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