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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do you think the convenience of being constantly connected has made us more productive?

작성자: 안*윤
2024-11-29 1986

회원님의 영작문

I think being constantly connected could be more productive because we can have more time to work and talk with each other.
However, on the contrary, ceaseless connection makes individuals feel exhausted and could lead to less degree of efficiency.
If needed, concentrated short quick connection would be the best to everyone.

Thank you for keeping correcting me with the same pronunciation&grammar problem for these days! I love it.
My brain is not as when I was young, and I am very bad at memorizing something nowadays.... 😂...
Hope for seeing you soon again~~
Have a good day and weekend!😊

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hey there, Ms. Anna! Wonderful thoughts! You’ve really captured both the pros and cons of constant connectivity. It’s so true that finding a balance with focused, meaningful interactions can help us stay productive and avoid burnout. Thank you for always putting in the effort with your compositions---I’m always excited to read your thoughtful and insightful responses. Keep up the great work!
~T. Jenna

I think being constantly connected could be more productive because we can have more time to work and talk with each other.
Correct, or
>>I believe that perpetual connectivity has the potential to enhance productivity by creating additional opportunities for work and meaningful communication.
However, on the contrary, ceaseless connection makes individuals feel exhausted and could lead to less degree of efficiency.
>>However, ceaseless connection makes individuals feel exhausted and could lead to a lower level of efficiency.
OR
>>However, non-stop connectivity can quickly lead to burnout and a noticeable drop in productivity.
If needed, concentrated short quick connection would be the best to everyone.
>> If needed, concentrated, short, and quick connections would be best for everyone.
OR
>>When necessary, brief yet focused interactions are likely to be the most effective approach for all parties involved.

****
Thank you for keeping correcting me with the same pronunciation&grammar problem for these days! I love it.
My brain is not as when I was young, and I am very bad at memorizing something nowadays.... 
>>Aw, you’re so sweet! 😊 Don’t worry, we all have those moments, and I’m just glad I can be here to help.  And hey, your brain is still amazing—it's just busy doing so much more now. Keep going, you’re doing great! 💪✨

Hope for seeing you soon again~~
Have a good day and weekend!
>>I hope to see you soon too! I hope your trip to your home country is filled with beautiful memories and warm moments. Enjoy every bit of it, and I can’t wait to hear all about your adventures when you’re back! Safe travels and have an amazing time! 

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