¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you define possibilities in your life?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿µ
2024-12-04 1671

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that the possibility of my life is depending on my will.
Because my second life will be started from the wedding march.
I would like to get a new job before the wedding so I want to support my boyfriend to pay the things that related to wedding.
Having some communication with my boyfriend made me stronger than alone.
We have promised that each other have to support and trust the things we do.
To increse my potential, I continually do the my work to growp my self.
Thanks for reading my essay.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Gloria,

You did a great job with your essay! It's clear that you're thinking deeply about your future and the important steps you're taking toward your goals. I really admire how you're planning to get a new job before the wedding and supporting your boyfriend, this shows maturity and teamwork. You¡¯re absolutely right that your life¡¯s possibilities depend on your will and determination. You¡¯re already showing that you¡¯re strong and capable of achieving great things. You¡¯re so smart, and I can tell that you have the mindset to make your dreams a reality. Keep believing in yourself, because you can achieve anything you desire. Your hard work and commitment will pay off. Keep up the great work, you're on an amazing journey!

~Teacher Cathy

 

I think that the possibility of my life is depending on my will.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I think that the possibilities in my life depend on my will.

Because my second life will be started from the wedding march.

>>Because I will begin a new life when the wedding march plays.

I would like to get a new job before the wedding so I want to support my boyfriend to pay the things that related to wedding.

>>I would like to get a new job before the wedding so I can help my boyfriend pay for the wedding-related expenses.

Having some communication with my boyfriend made me stronger than alone.

>>Having communication with my boyfriend made me feel stronger than being alone.

We have promised that each other have to support and trust the things we do.

>>We promised to support and trust each other in everything we do.

To increse my potential, I continually do the my work to growp my self.

>>To increase my potential, I continually do my work to grow myself.

Thanks for reading my essay.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Thank you for reading my essay.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140685 What do you think is the most important traffic rule to follow... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 2056
140684 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 2352
140683 Why is it important to follow guidelines and principles? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 2054
140682 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 1
140681 28Oct2024_homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 2319
140680 home work Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 2111
140679 How much time do you spend outdoors every week? ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 3043
140678 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 2154
140677 Hi sharon ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 1
140676 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 2220
140675 what place can be like home? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 2460
140674 I want to visit all badminton gym Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 12
140673 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 1988
140672 homework Àå*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 2595
140671 get rid of ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 0
140670 living room ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 1
140669 fireplace ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 1
140668 laptop ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 1
140667 What impact could reducing income inequality have on social... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 2029
140666 About my visit to Philipines ±¸*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-28 1711

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04