¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so that IELTS Speaking 6.5 or higher sc

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ÀÎ
2024-12-09 1480

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Do schools in your country have music lessons?
Do a lot of people like music?
Do you think music education is important for children?
Do you think children should learn to play an instrument at school?
What musical instruments do you enjoy listening to the most?
Have you ever learned to play a musical instrument?
Yes, most schools in my country offer music lessons. Many people love music, and I believe music education is essential for children. It¡¯s also great if children can learn to play an instrument. I enjoy listening to the piano and guitar, and I¡¯ve tried learning the piano in the past.


Do you prefer to watch films at home or in the cinema?
How often do you watch films?
I prefer to watch films at home because it's more comfortable, and I can relax without distractions. I usually watch films once or twice a week, depending on my schedule.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for entrusting me to simplify your answers Young In. I hope you'll be able to remember all these responses. Good luck! 

>>> TEACHER GEMMA

Do schools in your country have music lessons?
Do a lot of people like music?
Do you think music education is important for children?
Do you think children should learn to play an instrument at school?
What musical instruments do you enjoy listening to the most?
Have you ever learned to play a musical instrument?

>>>Yes, most schools in my country have music lessons. Many people love music, and I think it¡¯s important for kids to learn. It¡¯s also great if they can play an instrument. I like listening and learning the piano and guitar.


Do you prefer to watch films at home or in the cinema?
How often do you watch films?

>>>I prefer watching films at home because it's more comfortable and I can relax without distractions. I usually watch films once or twice a week, depending on my schedule.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141524 What are you anticipating for 2025? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1402
141523 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 2
141522 Which is better for communication, e-mail or handwritten letters? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1488
141521 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1432
141520 12/13 Homework ±Ç*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1653
141519 How do you feel when people say something negative about you? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 2
141518 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1584
141517 Homework ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1580
141516 13Dec2024_Homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1678
141515 11dec2024_homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1712
141514 homework ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1
141513 Do you agree with the saying \"Health is Wealth\"? If yes, could... ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1777
141512 Elitism of doctors and prosecutors ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1496
141511 Please change it to an easy word so that I can use it at the... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1404
141510 What¡¯s the most memorable dining experience you¡¯ve ever had? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1
141509 Homework ÇÑ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 2
141508 Homework ÇÑ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1
141507 What can you do well? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-15 1482
141506 How can exercise help manage stress? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-15 2
141505 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-15 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04