¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What changes would you like to see in your country\'s educational system? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¿¬
2024-12-10 1408

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to see changes for national college entrance exam in our country education.
Because it is only one chance to show our intelligence.
We have studied for it about 12 years.
But, If we don't have a good condition for that day, we would be so embrassed of it.
It is also part of studying to make a good condition, but I don't like this system.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hello Nicole,
Thank you for submitting your composition. You are doing well. Keep it up!
~ T. Demi ^^


I want to see changes for national college entrance exam in our country education.
>>I want to see changes to the national college entrance exam in our country's education system.
Because it is only one chance to show our intelligence.
>> It is only one chance to demonstrate our intelligence.
We have studied for it about 12 years.
>> We have studied for it for about 12 years.
But, If we don't have a good condition for that day, we would be so embrassed of it.
>> However, if we are not in good condition on that day, we might feel very embarrassed.
It is also part of studying to make a good condition, but I don't like this system.
>> While preparing ourselves to be in good condition is part of studying, I still dislike this system.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141129 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-22 1164
141128 HOMEWORK FOR 11.22.2024 WRITING TASK: What important thing did... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-22 5
141127 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-22 2
141126 What could be the negative effects of motivating by fear? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-11-22 1228
141125 HOOMEWORK ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-22 1291
141124 English conversation club ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-11-22 1
141123 Homework ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-22 1
141122 What is your before-bed routine? Is there something you need to... Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-22 11
141121 Do you like meeting new people? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-11-22 2
141120 What kind of people do you enjoy working with? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-11-22 3
141119 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-22 1281
141118 20nov2024-homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-11-22 1250
141117 If you could make a phone call to any famous person in the... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-22 1175
141116 Homework ¾ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-22 1077
141115 How often do you go shopping for clothes? Do you buy new clothes... Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-21 3
141114 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-21 2
141113 home work ½Å*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-11-21 1176
141112 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-21 1
141111 Which are the best and worst parts of school? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-11-21 1272
141110 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-11-21 1388

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04