¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What changes would you like to see in your country\'s educational system? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¿¬
2024-12-10 1774

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to see changes for national college entrance exam in our country education.
Because it is only one chance to show our intelligence.
We have studied for it about 12 years.
But, If we don't have a good condition for that day, we would be so embrassed of it.
It is also part of studying to make a good condition, but I don't like this system.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hello Nicole,
Thank you for submitting your composition. You are doing well. Keep it up!
~ T. Demi ^^


I want to see changes for national college entrance exam in our country education.
>>I want to see changes to the national college entrance exam in our country's education system.
Because it is only one chance to show our intelligence.
>> It is only one chance to demonstrate our intelligence.
We have studied for it about 12 years.
>> We have studied for it for about 12 years.
But, If we don't have a good condition for that day, we would be so embrassed of it.
>> However, if we are not in good condition on that day, we might feel very embarrassed.
It is also part of studying to make a good condition, but I don't like this system.
>> While preparing ourselves to be in good condition is part of studying, I still dislike this system.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141003 Does age make you more aware of and caring for others? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-11-15 1549
141002 What¡¯s the best way to study for exams? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-15 1645
141001 HOOMEWORK ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-15 1852
141000 What do you think is the most difficult job in the world and why? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-11-15 3
140999 What¡¯s the most challenging part of your job? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-11-15 2
140998 HOMEWORK FOR 11.15.2024 WRITING TASK: How can someone find his... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-15 5
140997 HOMEWORK ¾ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-15 2366
140996 13nov2024-homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-11-15 2019
140995 Do you like collecting books? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-15 1
140994 Are pop stars good or bad influence on young people? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-15 1
140993 If you could trade your entire collection for something else,... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-15 1635
140992 Ebs program ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-15 1659
140991 Is it alright to borrow big money from friends? ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-14 1824
140990 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-14 2
140989 My Favorite Season ¾È*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-14 1791
140988 Is there anything that makes you learn better? ¹Ú*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2024-11-14 1830
140987 Homework À±*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-14 1764
140986 Why do you think people are interested in cosmetic surgery? Is... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-14 2
140985 What talent or skill do you have that makes you confident the... ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-14 1436
140984 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-14 2019

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04