¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What changes would you like to see in your country\'s educational system? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¿¬
2024-12-10 1832

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to see changes for national college entrance exam in our country education.
Because it is only one chance to show our intelligence.
We have studied for it about 12 years.
But, If we don't have a good condition for that day, we would be so embrassed of it.
It is also part of studying to make a good condition, but I don't like this system.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hello Nicole,
Thank you for submitting your composition. You are doing well. Keep it up!
~ T. Demi ^^


I want to see changes for national college entrance exam in our country education.
>>I want to see changes to the national college entrance exam in our country's education system.
Because it is only one chance to show our intelligence.
>> It is only one chance to demonstrate our intelligence.
We have studied for it about 12 years.
>> We have studied for it for about 12 years.
But, If we don't have a good condition for that day, we would be so embrassed of it.
>> However, if we are not in good condition on that day, we might feel very embarrassed.
It is also part of studying to make a good condition, but I don't like this system.
>> While preparing ourselves to be in good condition is part of studying, I still dislike this system.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140477 before ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 1
140476 an hour ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 1
140475 Respect my dauters\' decision. ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 1950
140474 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 2261
140473 Have you done the MBTI? What was the result
? Do you agree... ÀÎ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 2673
140472 what are the benefits of collecting? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 2593
140471 16.Oct.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 1
140470 What do you think of the death penalty? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 1
140469 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 0
140468 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 3220
140467 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 1868
140466 What would you do if you had a few extra hours daily? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 1629
140465 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 2
140464 Ideal ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 2119
140463 Do you think abortion should be legal or illegal? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 2107
140462 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 2002
140461 My memorable vacation Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 7
140460 Q) What should people do to avoid getting sick? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 0
140459 What are your thoughts on palm reading? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 3
140458 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 2195

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04