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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Tell me how orchestra concerts influence your emotions and create lasting memories.

작성자: 노*철
2024-12-10 1938

회원님의 영작문

The orchestra is a combination of instruments with different tones.
It looks so much like the world we live in.
People with different looks and different personalities form families and create communities.
I think the most important thing when playing an instrument is not to make our own sound, but to listen to others.
Then we can create harmony.
Our lives cannot be harmonized if we only insist on our thoughts and our voices.
Whenever I listen to this kind of music, I look back on many of my mistakes to reveal myself.
I especially remember the mistake of not trying to listen to their thoughts from loved ones or close friends and only claiming that my thoughts were right.
If I accept music with just the sound of listening to it with my ears, the emotion to me cannot last long.
I remember that moment for a long time when the performance becomes a story that tells me in words and a messages that shows me in action.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi David, I just wanted to say that I really liked your response to the homework about the orchestra. It was thoughtful and insightful, and it helped me see you as someone with great enthusiasm for classical music. Your perspective gave me a deeper understanding, and I really appreciated it. Keep up with the great job!

~ T. Lia


The orchestra is a combination of instruments with different tones.
>> CORRECT


It looks so much like the world we live in.
>> CORRECT


People with different looks and different personalities form families and create communities.
>> CORRECT


I think the most important thing when playing an instrument is not to make our own sound, but to listen to others.
>> CORRECT


Then we can create harmony.
>> CORRECT


Our lives cannot be harmonized if we only insist on our thoughts and our voices.
>> CORRECT


Whenever I listen to this kind of music, I look back on many of my mistakes to reveal myself.
>> Whenever I listen to this kind of music, I reflect on many of my mistakes to better understand myself.


I especially remember the mistake of not trying to listen to their thoughts from loved ones or close friends and only claiming that my thoughts were right.
>> I especially remember the mistake of not trying to listen to the thoughts of loved ones or close friends and only insisting that my own thoughts were right.


If I accept music with just the sound of listening to it with my ears, the emotion to me cannot last long.
>> If I perceive music only through the sound of listening with my ears, the emotion it evokes cannot last long.


I remember that moment for a long time when the performance becomes a story that tells me in words and a messages that shows me in action.
>> I remember that moment for a long time when the performance becomes a story that speaks to me in words and a message that reveals itself through action.

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전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
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04

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