¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Which is a better means of livelihood, employment in a company or entrepreneurship?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-12-12 1626

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think employment in a company is a better means of livelihood.
Firstly, one of the most significant advantages of being employed by a company is the stability it offers. In an unpredictable economy, job security is a crucial factor for many individuals.Employment in a company typically provides a steady income, which allows employees to plan their finances more effectively.
Secondly, employment in a company often comes with a range of benefits that enhance the overall quality of life. Many companies offer health insurance, retirement plans, paid leave, and other perks that are not readily available to entrepreneurs. These benefits contribute to the well-being of employees and their families, providing a safety net that can be crucial in times of need.
In conclusion, while entrepreneurship can be an exciting and rewarding path for some, employment in a company is a better means of livelihood for the majority.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! Great job on this one! There was a very minor correction. Your idea is on point Let us discuss further in the class. See you!
-Teacher Anji

I think employment in a company is a better means of livelihood.
>> I think employment at a company is a better means of livelihood.
Firstly, one of the most significant advantages of being employed by a company is the stability it offers. 
>> CORRECT
In an unpredictable economy, job security is a crucial factor for many individuals.Employment in a company typically provides a steady income, which allows employees to plan their finances more effectively.
>> CORRECT
Secondly, employment in a company often comes with a range of benefits that enhance the overall quality of life. 
>> CORRECT
Many companies offer health insurance, retirement plans, paid leave, and other perks that are not readily available to entrepreneurs.
>> CORRECT
These benefits contribute to the well-being of employees and their families, providing a safety net that can be crucial in times of need.
>> CORRECT
In conclusion, while entrepreneurship can be an exciting and rewarding path for some, employment in a company is a better means of livelihood for the majority.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142689 Writing Exercise: How do you usually handle stress? Explain. È«*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 1273
142688 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 1181
142687 How do you adjust your routine when unexpected things happen? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 1149
142686 Homework🙌🏻 ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 1119
142685 my first essay ¾ç*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 3
142684 2/21 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 1
142683 Which place is the best place to go to see the cherry blossoms ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 1122
142682 What body language seems uncomfortable to you? Why? ÀÌ*Áß ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 0
142681 Work and life balance in academies ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 1234
142680 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 1016
142679 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 1153
142678 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-23 1
142677 What activities with animals do you enjoy most? (walking,... ÀÓ*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-23 1113
142676 How do you improve your mornings? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-23 1107
142675 NK soldiers ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-23 973
142674 How frequently do you worry about how you look? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-23 7
142673 When i hear the word \'solos\'.. ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-23 1201
142672 What¡¯s a memory that means a lot to you? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-02-23 1
142671 How do you deal with major changes in your company? ¼­*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-23 1033
142670 What is a perfect weekend for you? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-02-22 1065

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04