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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do you agree with the saying \"Health is Wealth\"? If yes, could you explain why?

작성자: 노*철
2024-12-16 1971

회원님의 영작문

Health is our greatest wealth.
Because there is not much we can achieve if we are not healthy.
This is true of both mental and physical health.
Planning is important to achieve something.
If you are mentally unhealthy, you will set the wrong plan and direction.
This could be the case for everyone.
Even if you set the right direction and plan, it is very difficult to proceed with the work on your own if you are physically unhealthy.
Of course, you can do it with the help of others, but there are many difficulties.
Today's wealth is evaluated by the possession of money, but if you are unhealthy, it is difficult to maintain wealth.
If you are healthy, you have the potential to achieve anything, so you are a person of true wealth.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi David, I just wanted to say how amazed I am by your wisdom. It’s truly inspiring, especially coming from someone like you who works in the field of health. Your insights and dedication are so admirable, and it’s clear how much of a positive impact you’re making. Keep up the great work!

~ T. Lia


Health is our greatest wealth.
>> CORRECT


Because there is not much we can achieve if we are not healthy.
>> There is not much we can achieve if we are not healthy.


This is true of both mental and physical health.
>> CORRECT


Planning is important to achieve something.
>> Planning is important in achieving something.


If you are mentally unhealthy, you will set the wrong plan and direction.
>> If you are mentally unhealthy, you may set the wrong plan and direction.


This could be the case for everyone.
>> CORRECT


Even if you set the right direction and plan, it is very difficult to proceed with the work on your own if you are physically unhealthy.
>> Even if you set the right direction and plan, it can be very difficult to proceed with work on your own if you are physically unhealthy.


Of course, you can do it with the help of others, but there are many difficulties.
>> Of course, you can do it with the help of others, but it may come with many difficulties.


Today's wealth is evaluated by the possession of money, but if you are unhealthy, it is difficult to maintain wealth.
>> Wealth today is often measured by the possession of money, but if you are unhealthy, it can be difficult to maintain it.


If you are healthy, you have the potential to achieve anything, so you are a person of true wealth.
>> If you are healthy, you have the potential to achieve anything and are truly wealthy.
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