¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*´Ô
2024-12-17 1092

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is kind of disease which sex chromosome's position was wrong.
If they behave against gender, it can be caused another disease.
Person's sprit is high position than desire of their body.
So they have to control their desires if it can ruin other's life.
Therefore I will not support their behavior.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Ms. Sunny!
I understand your point. While the world is normalizing this phenomenon, I would still stand by my principle. I respect these minority groups but sorry to say that I don't agree with their practices and behavior especially if the society is involved. 
Thank you for this homework and I appreciate your effort to express yourself in English.
Aki~

It is kind of disease which sex chromosome's position was wrong.
>>> It is a kind of disease in which the sex chromosome's position is wrong.

If they behave against gender, it can be caused another disease.
>>> If they behave against their gender, it can cause another disease.

Person's sprit is high position than desire of their body.
>>> A person's spirit is higher than the desire of their body.

So they have to control their desires if it can ruin other's life.
>>> So they have to control their desires if they can ruin other's lives.

Therefore I will not support their behavior.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141899 book ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 2
141898 [HOMEWORK] Which greeting kind of annoys you? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 0
141897 Seollal ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 1036
141896 What is your favorite way to practice your English? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 1477
141895 Online shopping ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 1089
141894 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 1010
141893 My personal experience ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 1187
141892 Do you have as much freedom as you want in your life? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 1010
141891 Much or MANY ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 1016
141890 For Italians, breaking pasta noodles is considered... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-10 0
141889 Is it advantageous for young people to become student-athletes? ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 1390
141888 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 1
141887 My favorite winter holiday! Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 2
141886 How do you feel about borrowing money from a friend? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 970
141885 Homework ÇÑ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 0
141884 Use giving up wisely ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 1
141883 What\'s the best martial art for someone your age to practice? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 1028
141882 What is happiness for you? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 3
141881 You¡¯re planning to travel soon, aren¡¯t you? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 1251
141880 HOMEWORK FOR 12.13.2024 WRITING TASK: What are your plans for... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04