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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Against SNS

작성자: 임*준
2024-12-18 1321

회원님의 영작문

How do social media affect party invitations and memories?

>>> Because I haven't ever used social media as party invitation, I'd like tell you the affections to memories. I also have a instagram account and wrote a few posts. These posts are all about my main memories that I wanted to remember forever. By posting like this, I could be reminded good memories again and share with my SNS friends.
However posting actually works better with other features than remembering. Thanks to SNS, we can easily brag about our wonderful life even if it is not true. So I honestly don't like SNS because of that point. If I really want to remember something, there are many methods that function more than SNS. I also found myself choosing picture that is not too shameful to show others. In conclusion, There were many things in my posts except for memory. What I want to tell you is that social media doesn't affect memories well and concentrats on other things more

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Jun!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. You really did well! :)
~ T. Camille


How do social media affect party invitations and memories?

>>> Because I haven't ever used social media as a party invitation, I'd like tell you the affections to memories. 
>> CORRECT!
I also have a instagram account and wrote a few posts. 
>> I also have an Instagram account and wrote a few posts. 
These posts are all about my main memories that I wanted to remember forever. 
>> CORRECT!
By posting like this, I could be reminded good memories again and share with my SNS friends.
>> By posting like this, I could be reminded of the good memories again and share with my SNS friends.
However, posting actually works better with other features than remembering. 
>> CORRECT!
Thanks to SNS, we can easily brag about our wonderful life even if it is not true. 
>> CORRECT!
So I honestly don't like SNS because of that point. 
>> CORRECT!
If I really want to remember something, there are many methods that function more than SNS. 
>> CORRECT!
I also found myself choosing picture that is not too shameful to show others. 
>> I also found myself choosing a picture that is not too shameful to show others. 
In conclusion, there were many things in my posts except for memory. 
>> In conclusion, there were many things in my posts except for the memory. 
What I want to tell you is that social media doesn't affect memories well and concentrats on other things more.
>> What I want to tell you is that social media doesn't affect memories well and concentrates on other things more.

[Wow the idea of your answer is actually precise, because not all that we see in all SNS are true. kkk ~ T. Camille]
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