¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Write about this topic, \"How Family Traditions Make Christmas Special¡±.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2024-12-26 1414

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My family had a Christmas routine when my two daughters were young.
The best place to feel Christmas in Korea is the hotel.
My family spent time at the hotel and ate delicious foods and I made plans for the next year.
But now we only share Christmas cards with each other.
Of course, we eat delicious foods.
This year, we spent Christmas separately for the first time.
My wife and two daughters spent their time at the ski resort and I spent my time practicing music.
Now all of my family is an adult, so we need to make a new Christmas tradition.
Tradition must also depend on the environment.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi David, your message was clear and well-written! It nicely captured your Christmas experiences and how they¡¯ve evolved over the years. I enjoyed the heartfelt tone and the way you shared your reflections on family traditions and adapting to new circumstances. It¡¯s a touching glimpse into your holiday memories. Thanks for sharing!

~ T. Lia 

My family had a Christmas routine when my two daughters were young.
>> CORRECT

The best place to feel Christmas in Korea is the hotel.
>> CORRECT

My family spent time at the hotel and ate delicious foods and I made plans for the next year.
>> My family spent time at the hotel, ate delicious food, and I made plans for the next year.

But now we only share Christmas cards with each other.
>> CORRECT

Of course, we eat delicious foods.
>> Of course, we eat delicious food.

This year, we spent Christmas separately for the first time.
>> CORRECT

My wife and two daughters spent their time at the ski resort and I spent my time practicing music.
>> My wife and two daughters spent their time at the ski resort, while I spent mine practicing music.

Now all of my family is an adult, so we need to make a new Christmas tradition. 
>> Now that all of my family members are adults, we need to create a new Christmas tradition.

Tradition must also depend on the environment.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141613 How do Korean retirees usually spend their days? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 2
141612 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1160
141611 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1272
141610 Homework ÇÑ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1
141609 What makes you happy these days? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 2
141608 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1521
141607 Homework ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1282
141606 How do you see yourself 10 years from now? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1518
141605 How do you typically celebrate your achievements? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1331
141604 Do you believe that sometimes tough love is necessary for... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1644
141603 What are the most common organizations in your country and what... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1120
141602 These days, artificial intelligence can write, code, and make... Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 2
141601 Home work ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1454
141600 Expect brings happiness ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1093
141599 Why do you think having routines can make life more organized... ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1418
141598 Family tradition ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1265
141597 Globalization waves unavoidable trend ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1100
141596 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 2
141595 What historical sites did you visit and what did you learn? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 5
141594 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1120

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04