¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Write about this topic, \"How Family Traditions Make Christmas Special¡±.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2024-12-26 1654

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My family had a Christmas routine when my two daughters were young.
The best place to feel Christmas in Korea is the hotel.
My family spent time at the hotel and ate delicious foods and I made plans for the next year.
But now we only share Christmas cards with each other.
Of course, we eat delicious foods.
This year, we spent Christmas separately for the first time.
My wife and two daughters spent their time at the ski resort and I spent my time practicing music.
Now all of my family is an adult, so we need to make a new Christmas tradition.
Tradition must also depend on the environment.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi David, your message was clear and well-written! It nicely captured your Christmas experiences and how they¡¯ve evolved over the years. I enjoyed the heartfelt tone and the way you shared your reflections on family traditions and adapting to new circumstances. It¡¯s a touching glimpse into your holiday memories. Thanks for sharing!

~ T. Lia 

My family had a Christmas routine when my two daughters were young.
>> CORRECT

The best place to feel Christmas in Korea is the hotel.
>> CORRECT

My family spent time at the hotel and ate delicious foods and I made plans for the next year.
>> My family spent time at the hotel, ate delicious food, and I made plans for the next year.

But now we only share Christmas cards with each other.
>> CORRECT

Of course, we eat delicious foods.
>> Of course, we eat delicious food.

This year, we spent Christmas separately for the first time.
>> CORRECT

My wife and two daughters spent their time at the ski resort and I spent my time practicing music.
>> My wife and two daughters spent their time at the ski resort, while I spent mine practicing music.

Now all of my family is an adult, so we need to make a new Christmas tradition. 
>> Now that all of my family members are adults, we need to create a new Christmas tradition.

Tradition must also depend on the environment.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141375 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-06 1818
141374 should students wear school uniform °­*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-12-06 1949
141373 Where is your favorite restaurant? Why? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-12-06 1597
141372 ¼÷Á¦ Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-06 1701
141371 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-06 1894
141370 Is there a piece of furniture in your home that holds a special... ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-06 2261
141369 12/04 Homework ±Ç*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-12-06 2022
141368 12/06 Homework ±Ç*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-12-06 1727
141367 Write about how you cope with your fears. ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-06 1594
141366 Homework ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-06 0
141365 caming on the sand ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-06 1
141364 caming ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-06 0
141363 before ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-06 0
141362 If you could watch only one movie for the rest of your life,... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-06 2351
141361 With your professional political opinion, what must a President... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-06 0
141360 In what ways are your weekends different from your normal... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-06 3
141359 The role of media have to do restrain the government ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-06 1511
141358 Homework ÇÑ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-05 1
141357 Which is a better reading material, fiction or nonfiction? ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-05 1855
141356 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-05 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04