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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How can we educate others about environmental issues?

작성자: 배*빈
2024-12-27 1788

회원님의 영작문

We can hold a contest subjected to environment, and the contest is composed of writing, drawing, and making short video.

Most of people are not usually interested in environmental issues.
I think it is because they are so busy to study, work, and care about their life, so they don’t have enough time to search about that themselves.

In this situation, if we hold a contest, it will helpful to improve people’s interest about environment much more. And they can realize currently environmental seriousness and their responsibility on that during preparation contest. Also, people can express their opinion about environment through entry that they made, and we can educate others using their entry later.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Yun Bin,

You did an excellent job on your homework! Your idea of holding a contest to raise awareness about environmental issues is very creative and practical. It’s true that many people are too busy with their daily lives to think about the environment, but your idea helps to get their attention in a fun and engaging way. Writing, drawing, and making short videos can make people think more deeply about the environment and express their opinions in different ways.

You also pointed out that this contest can help people realize how serious environmental problems are and their role in making a change. By using the entries later to educate others, you are creating a lasting impact. It’s a great way to involve the community and help them learn more about environmental issues. Keep up the great work! You're thinking of wonderful solutions to help others. I’m looking forward to seeing you in class! ^^

~Teacher Cathy

 

We can hold a contest subjected to environment, and the contest is composed of writing, drawing, and making short video.

>>We can hold a contest focused on the environment, and the contest will include writing, drawing, and creating short videos.

Most of people are not usually interested in environmental issues.

>>Most people are not usually interested in environmental issues.

I think it is because they are so busy to study, work, and care about their life, so they don’t have enough time to search about that themselves.

>>I think it's because they are so busy with studying, working, and taking care of their lives that they don't have enough time to research it themselves.

In this situation, if we hold a contest, it will helpful to improve people’s interest about environment much more.

>>In this situation, holding a contest would greatly help to increase people's interest in the environment.

And they can realize currently environmental seriousness and their responsibility on that during preparation contest.

>>They can also recognize the seriousness of current environmental issues and their responsibilities while preparing for the contest.

Also, people can express their opinion about environment through entry that they made, and we can educate others using their entry later.

>>Additionally, people can express their opinions about the environment through the entries they create, and we can use these entries to educate others later.

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