¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why did the plane crash in Jeju?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2025-01-02 2485

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First of all, it's not Jeju but Muan airport many expert say landing gear is broke down but some people think it's because of bird strike.
😢

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's another correced composition, Yale! Many thanks for sending it. Please take a look at the few revisions and alternative expressions provided. Have a good night's sleep! 


Cheers,
Jean~~



                                     

                             
                                    Why did the plane crash in Jeju?


First of all, it's not Jeju but Muan airport many expert say landing gear is broke down but some people think it's because of bird strike.
>> First of all, it's not Jeju but Muan Airport. Many experts say the landing gear broke down or malfunctioned but some people think it's because of a bird strike.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142310 home work Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1523
142309 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1
142308 No, I don¡¯t have stuffed toys until now. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1530
142307 AKMU ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1
142306 I did my homework.^^ ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1712
142305 What¡¯s the most frustrating thing that happened to you recently? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1381
142304 In what situation do you see yourself being speechless? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1261
142303 What are the differences between small and large families? °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 3
142302 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1407
142301 Artificial intelligence in solving global problems ±è*·É ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 3
142300 How did you feel about the weather during the Lunar New Year... ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1
142299 How do you think we can better protect ourselves from the flu? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1209
142298 eco-friendly ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 0
142297 beg ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1659
142296 Homework for February 04. À¯*±â ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1510
142295 Write your own version of spider man. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1781
142294 Eating habits ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1627
142293 What activity do you miss doing with your daughters these days ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1533
142292 2/4 Homewrok ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 0
142291 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1571

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04