¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Which is better to grow up in, poverty or in wealth?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2025-01-14 1561

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

This essay will discuss why growing up in a wealthy environment is a better choice.
First, a wealthy environment offers diverse experiences. Travel, cultural experiences, and various social activities contribute to broadening an individual's perspective and developing social skills. These experiences play a vital role in shaping one's identity and positively influencing future career choices. In impoverished environments, such experiences are often limited, constraining personal growth.
Second, individuals raised in wealthy environments can leverage more networks and resources. Social capital is a critical factor in personal success, and those who grow up in affluent families can access more opportunities through this capital. This positively impacts not only professional success but also social status and stability.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! This is a valid point. I like how you shared your insights about this. Being born wealthy is a privilege. I wish I were on of the lucky one. See you!
-Teacher Anji

This essay will discuss why growing up in a wealthy environment is a better choice.
>> This essay will discuss why growing up in a wealthy environment is the better choice.
First, a wealthy environment offers diverse experiences. 
>> CORRECT
Travel, cultural experiences, and various social activities contribute to broadening an individual's perspective and developing social skills. 
>> CORRECT
These experiences play a vital role in shaping one's identity and positively influencing future career choices. 
>> CORRECT
In impoverished environments, such experiences are often limited, constraining personal growth.
>> CORRECT
Second, individuals raised in wealthy environments can leverage more networks and resources. 
or >> Second, individuals raised in wealthy environments can leverage more networks and resources.
Social capital is a critical factor in personal success, and those who grow up in affluent families can access more opportunities through this capital. 
>> CORRECT
This positively impacts not only professional success but also social status and stability.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141593 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1606
141592 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1601
141591 If you could inspire someone, what would you inspire them to do? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1
141590 composition ±è*´Ï¿¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1288
141589 What do you consider to be the biggest challenge facing the... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 0
141588 Hi I\'m SEIN ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1378
141587 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 2
141586 Do you think the court will approve president Yoon\'s... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1415
141585 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1372
141584 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1549
141583 dress ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1
141582 gift ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 0
141581 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1568
141580 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1728
141579 How does the location of a business affect its success? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1551
141578 I will be discouraged when I can\'t ask help to my family or... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1803
141577 New activities I want to try in Jeju Island ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 2000
141576 The improvement of social welfare I want for next president ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1897
141575 What do you usually do when the weather is so cold in Busan? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1602
141574 Homework ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04