¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Which is better to grow up in, poverty or in wealth?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2025-01-14 1569

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

This essay will discuss why growing up in a wealthy environment is a better choice.
First, a wealthy environment offers diverse experiences. Travel, cultural experiences, and various social activities contribute to broadening an individual's perspective and developing social skills. These experiences play a vital role in shaping one's identity and positively influencing future career choices. In impoverished environments, such experiences are often limited, constraining personal growth.
Second, individuals raised in wealthy environments can leverage more networks and resources. Social capital is a critical factor in personal success, and those who grow up in affluent families can access more opportunities through this capital. This positively impacts not only professional success but also social status and stability.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! This is a valid point. I like how you shared your insights about this. Being born wealthy is a privilege. I wish I were on of the lucky one. See you!
-Teacher Anji

This essay will discuss why growing up in a wealthy environment is a better choice.
>> This essay will discuss why growing up in a wealthy environment is the better choice.
First, a wealthy environment offers diverse experiences. 
>> CORRECT
Travel, cultural experiences, and various social activities contribute to broadening an individual's perspective and developing social skills. 
>> CORRECT
These experiences play a vital role in shaping one's identity and positively influencing future career choices. 
>> CORRECT
In impoverished environments, such experiences are often limited, constraining personal growth.
>> CORRECT
Second, individuals raised in wealthy environments can leverage more networks and resources. 
or >> Second, individuals raised in wealthy environments can leverage more networks and resources.
Social capital is a critical factor in personal success, and those who grow up in affluent families can access more opportunities through this capital. 
>> CORRECT
This positively impacts not only professional success but also social status and stability.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141534 What do you like most about ice skating? Explain. ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-12-17 1589
141533 What are you most excited about for your coming holiday trip... ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-17 1377
141532 What do you do to make your weekends special with your family? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-17 1634
141531 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-17 1561
141530 special food ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-17 0
141529 Christmas ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-17 0
141528 If you could do a job for one day to learn what it is like, what... Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-17 2
141527 homework ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-17 1
141526 Do you prefer trying new restaurants or sticking to familiar... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-17 1
141525 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-12-17 1468
141524 What are you anticipating for 2025? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1424
141523 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 2
141522 Which is better for communication, e-mail or handwritten letters? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1531
141521 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1454
141520 12/13 Homework ±Ç*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1705
141519 How do you feel when people say something negative about you? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 2
141518 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1587
141517 Homework ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1636
141516 13Dec2024_Homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1708
141515 11dec2024_homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-16 1782

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04