¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Which is better to grow up in, poverty or in wealth?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2025-01-14 1418

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

This essay will discuss why growing up in a wealthy environment is a better choice.
First, a wealthy environment offers diverse experiences. Travel, cultural experiences, and various social activities contribute to broadening an individual's perspective and developing social skills. These experiences play a vital role in shaping one's identity and positively influencing future career choices. In impoverished environments, such experiences are often limited, constraining personal growth.
Second, individuals raised in wealthy environments can leverage more networks and resources. Social capital is a critical factor in personal success, and those who grow up in affluent families can access more opportunities through this capital. This positively impacts not only professional success but also social status and stability.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! This is a valid point. I like how you shared your insights about this. Being born wealthy is a privilege. I wish I were on of the lucky one. See you!
-Teacher Anji

This essay will discuss why growing up in a wealthy environment is a better choice.
>> This essay will discuss why growing up in a wealthy environment is the better choice.
First, a wealthy environment offers diverse experiences. 
>> CORRECT
Travel, cultural experiences, and various social activities contribute to broadening an individual's perspective and developing social skills. 
>> CORRECT
These experiences play a vital role in shaping one's identity and positively influencing future career choices. 
>> CORRECT
In impoverished environments, such experiences are often limited, constraining personal growth.
>> CORRECT
Second, individuals raised in wealthy environments can leverage more networks and resources. 
or >> Second, individuals raised in wealthy environments can leverage more networks and resources.
Social capital is a critical factor in personal success, and those who grow up in affluent families can access more opportunities through this capital. 
>> CORRECT
This positively impacts not only professional success but also social status and stability.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144467 Should parents monitor what websites their children are... ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-06-05 0
144466 HOMEWORK FOR 06/05 Writing Task: How do your interests affect... ½Å*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-05 46
144465 How can advertisements influence people¡¯s shopping habits?... Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-06-05 77
144464 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-06-05 0
144463 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-05 71
144462 ¼÷Á¦ ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-05 44
144461 Do you believe animals experience trauma the same way humans do? ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-05 33
144460 Homework ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-06-05 3
144459 Do you think subtitles should always be available in movies and... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-05 0
144458 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-05 69
144457 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-06-05 75
144456 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 1
144455 0604 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 0
144454 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 0
144453 What does \"YOLO\" signify to you? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 77
144452 Describe a time when teamwork failed. What lessons did you learn? À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 0
144451 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 2
144450 Do you think all information on websites are true? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 0
144449 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 75
144448 What is your favorite place in Korea that was built for someone?... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-04 82

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04