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Are celebrities good role models for young people

작성자: 강*성
2025-01-19 1024

회원님의 영작문

I'm agree because young child would like celebrities that freely for them and they want to be like them,it's ok to think if you want to be more botter person freely for them.This is because if they respect a famous person or become like him,they will also have woody effect.I think i can make my dream by looking t these books and respecting the people i want to follow after seeing famous people. But since I don't have a deram, so i will read many books, see and think about famous people, make many dream come true.And i will support those who want to achieve their deram and respect and follow those who have achieved their dreams and become famous . I want to respect and follow all famous people because there are so many great people in the world.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Ryan!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

I'm agree because young child would like celebrities that freely for them and they want to be like them,it's ok to think if you want to be more botter person freely for them.
>> I agree because young children would like celebrities who freely do what they want for themselves, and they want to be like them, it's ok to think if you want to be a better person freely for them.
This is because if they respect a famous person or become like him, they will also have woody effect.
>>This is because if they respect a famous person or become like him, they will also have be a good example to other people.
I think I can make my dream by looking at these books and respecting the people I want to follow after seeing famous people. 
>> CORRECT!
But since I don't have a deram, so i will read many books, see and think about famous people, make many dream come true.
>>  But since I don't have a dream yet, so I will read many books, see and think about famous people, then make my dreams come true.
And I will support those who want to achieve their deram and respect and follow those who have achieved their dreams and become famous. 
>> And I will support those who want to achieve their dreams and respect and follow those who have achieved their dreams and become famous.
I want to respect and follow all famous people because there are so many great people in the world.
>> CORRECT!

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