¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is the best food to eat when you are sick?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¿¬
2025-01-21 1172

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The rice porridge is the best food to eat when I am sick.
Because I can easily eat when I don't want to eat anything.
Also, It is easy to make with a rice and water.
And the sweet food like chocolate and jelly are also the best food to eat when I am sick.
It makes me powerful and happy.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Nicole!
You did so well! I'm so proud of your writing! Keep up the good job and take note of the corrections as well so you can improve more. Great writing! See you on Thursday!
~~Teacher Kate 

The rice porridge is the best food to eat when I am sick.
>>CORRECT!
Because I can easily eat when I don't want to eat anything.
>>Because I can eat it easily, even when I don¡¯t feel like eating anything.
Also, It is easy to make with a rice and water.
>>It is also simple to make with just rice and water.
And the sweet food like chocolate and jelly are also the best food to eat when I am sick.
>>Sweet foods like chocolate and jelly are also great to eat when I am sick. 
It makes me powerful and happy.
>>CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141867 Who inspired you to become who you are now? Á¶*¸í ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 4
141866 What is your suggestion to make English easier to speak? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 3
141865 What¡¯s something you¡¯re thankful for your family? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 1807
141864 H/W ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 1308
141863 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 1704
141862 \'collective intelligence\' ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 1521
141861 I can¡¯t study today and tomorrow ±è*³ª ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 0
141860 Which is your busiest day of the week? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 1520
141859 How much do you like eating out? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 1562
141858 Homework 2 ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1487
141857 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1
141856 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1722
141855 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1601
141854 How do you plan to fund your studies? Á¶*¸í ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1
141853 homework ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1309
141852 What can we do to improve our relationship with our friends? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1662
141851 I like looking at the moon. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1830
141850 250108 homework ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 0
141849 Challenge will make me better person ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1
141848 What have you lost while traveling? ¼­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04