¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is the best food to eat when you are sick?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¿¬
2025-01-21 1322

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The rice porridge is the best food to eat when I am sick.
Because I can easily eat when I don't want to eat anything.
Also, It is easy to make with a rice and water.
And the sweet food like chocolate and jelly are also the best food to eat when I am sick.
It makes me powerful and happy.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Nicole!
You did so well! I'm so proud of your writing! Keep up the good job and take note of the corrections as well so you can improve more. Great writing! See you on Thursday!
~~Teacher Kate 

The rice porridge is the best food to eat when I am sick.
>>CORRECT!
Because I can easily eat when I don't want to eat anything.
>>Because I can eat it easily, even when I don¡¯t feel like eating anything.
Also, It is easy to make with a rice and water.
>>It is also simple to make with just rice and water.
And the sweet food like chocolate and jelly are also the best food to eat when I am sick.
>>Sweet foods like chocolate and jelly are also great to eat when I am sick. 
It makes me powerful and happy.
>>CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140539 I don\'t make much effort. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1869
140538 What strategies do you use to build your self-confidence? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1897
140537 How would the world change if you could instantly understand any... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1821
140536 What would change if money didn¡¯t exist but people still had to... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 2046
140535 Can you think of a time when doing nothing was the best action? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 2718
140534 Should kids have more of a say in decisions made by their... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 2028
140533 What do you do to maintain or improve your mental health? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 2870
140532 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 2458
140531 Why do you think many people smoke? Àå*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 2366
140530 Too many students earning degrees have diluted the value of a... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 2319
140529 What do you enjoy most about autumn? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1786
140528 How do you see yourself growing or advancing in your ideal... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 2076
140527 Have you ever had to step in and help during a difficult time... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 2154
140526 Why do you think apologizing is important in relationships? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 2486
140525 18oct2024-Homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1942
140524 Can people change their personality if they want to? Do you know... ÀÎ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 2588
140523 Does an age difference make it difficult to be friends? ÀÎ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 2422
140522 Moving grave ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 2105
140521 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 2557
140520 My most memorable trip destination is ¡¯New Zealand¡¯ ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 2432

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04