무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Should we take care of the elderly at home or put them in nursing homes?

작성자: 손*희
2025-01-21 1270

회원님의 영작문

I think we should take care of the elderly in nursing homes.
First, there is the provision of professional care services. Nursing homes are facilities that offer specialized care services for the elderly. They have various professionals, including medical staff, nurses, and social workers, who ensure the health and safety of the elderly residents. This is especially crucial for elderly individuals with chronic illnesses or special care needs, as professional management is essential. In a home setting, family members may find it challenging to meet all medical requirements, which can negatively impact the health of the elderly.
Second, there is a reduction in the burden on families. Caring for the elderly at home can place a significant burden on family members. Especially for those who need to balance work and household responsibilities, it can be challenging to find the time and energy required for elderly care.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Hana! Thank you for this homework. Inasmuch as this setup is ideal. care facilities are either too expensive, or too cramped due to the increasing number of the elderly. Families shouls do their best for the welfare of their loved ones. See you in the class!
--Teacher Anji

I think we should take care of the elderly in nursing homes.
>> CORRECT
First, there is the provision of professional care services. 
or >>First, there is the provision of professional care.
Nursing homes are facilities that offer specialized care services for the elderly. 
OR >> Nursing homes are facilities that provide specialized care for the elderly.
They have various professionals, including medical staff, nurses, and social workers, who ensure the health and safety of the elderly residents. 
>> They have various professionals, including medical staff, nurses, and social workers, who ensure the health and safety of elderly residents.
This is especially crucial for elderly individuals with chronic illnesses or special care needs, as professional management is essential. 
>> CORRECT
In a home setting, family members may find it challenging to meet all medical requirements, which can negatively impact the health of the elderly.
>> In a home setting, family members may find it challenging to meet all medical requirements, which can negatively affect the health of the elderly.
Second, there is a reduction in the burden on families. 
>> Second, there is a reduction in the burden on families.
Caring for the elderly at home can place a significant burden on family members. 
>> CORRECT
Especially for those who need to balance work and household responsibilities, it can be challenging to find the time and energy required for elderly care.
OR >> Especially for those who must balance work and household responsibilities, it can be difficult to find the time and energy needed for elderly care.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
143230 What are the benefits of taking the work shuttle bus? 이*훈 완료 2025-03-25 717
143229 The homework for 24th March. 조*호 완료 2025-03-25 690
143228 2025.03.25 homework! 이*준 완료 2025-03-25 634
143227 How do you feel when you see an old friend after a long time? 노*철 완료 2025-03-25 619
143226 Can envy and jealousy ever be healthy or positive emotions? 최*연 완료 2025-03-25 710
143225 dress cordes 민*정 완료 2025-03-25 0
143224 What did you all talk about while having brunch? 노*철 완료 2025-03-25 601
143223 technological 민*정 완료 2025-03-25 0
143222 carpenter 민*정 완료 2025-03-25 1
143221 How do you give feedback to someone without hurting their... 유*기 완료 2025-03-25 702
143220 power of gambling 권*희 완료 2025-03-25 661
143219 If you travel back in time, to which point in time would you... 박*호 완료 2025-03-25 569
143218 What is your opinion about \'wild goose father\' concept? 한*원 완료 2025-03-25 806
143217 Do you think climate change is making wildfires worse? Why or... 권*진 완료 2025-03-25 3
143216 My challenge 최*영 완료 2025-03-24 710
143215 Do you know your own family tree? 한*연 완료 2025-03-24 778
143214 3/24 homework 윤*현 완료 2025-03-24 617
143213 Homework 김*님 완료 2025-03-24 575
143212 Have you ever tried climbing Halla Mountain? If yes, how was it?... 진*호 완료 2025-03-24 1
143211 How far is the longest trip you\'ve ever taken? Where did you... 진*호 완료 2025-03-24 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]