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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

I want to change this answer into a couple of lines

작성자: 이*인
2025-01-22 1412

회원님의 영작문

Are there any differences between what you do in the evening now and what you did in the past?
à When I was a kid, my evenings were often spent playing with friends or completing homework, as I had fewer responsibilities at the time. It was a more carefree period, and I enjoyed those moments of relaxation and play. However, as I've grown older, my evenings have become more focused on unwinding after a busy day. I also spend some time in the evening getting ready for the next day, which is a big change from the carefree evenings I enjoyed as a child.

Do you spend your evenings doing the same things on both weekends and weekdays? Why?
à Not exactly. During the weekdays, my evenings are primarily dedicated to work or studying, which helps me stay productive. However, on weekends, I make an effort to unwind and spend more time with friends or family. This variation in my evening routine helps me maintain a healthy balance between work, study and personal life.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hey there, Young In! Please check if the following works for you ^^ However, a couple of lines won’t be enough to reach 6.5. The score you want requires sufficient elaboration in your answers. The score 6.5 in IELTS speaking typically requires more elaboration than just a couple of lines. While brief answers might be understandable, to score a 6.5, your responses should include more detail, examples, and development of your ideas. You need to show that you can expand on your answers clearly and logically. Simply giving short responses without much explanation would likely limit your score. 
~T. Jenna

Are there any differences between what you do in the evening now and what you did in the past?
à When I was a kid, my evenings were often spent playing with friends or completing homework, as I had fewer responsibilities at the time. It was a more carefree period, and I enjoyed those moments of relaxation and play. However, as I've grown older, my evenings have become more focused on unwinding after a busy day. I also spend some time in the evening getting ready for the next day, which is a big change from the carefree evenings I enjoyed as a child.
>>As a child, my evenings were carefree, spent playing with friends or doing homework. Now, they’re more about unwinding and preparing for the next day, which is a big change.

Do you spend your evenings doing the same things on both weekends and weekdays? Why?
à Not exactly. During the weekdays, my evenings are primarily dedicated to work or studying, which helps me stay productive. However, on weekends, I make an effort to unwind and spend more time with friends or family. This variation in my evening routine helps me maintain a healthy balance between work, study and personal life.
>>During weekdays, my evenings are focused on work or studying to stay productive. On weekends, I unwind and spend time with friends or family, which helps maintain a healthy balance between work, study, and personal life.
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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